Play Day

Although I love a good playdate, I'm always reluctant to plan vacation days from school around or dependent upon classmates and friends. It's a tactic that can easily backfire as family visits, doctor appointments, or sudden illness bump out even the most carefully planned playdate. I've learned the hard way not to rely on friends to provide our children with mutual entertainment during a school break. 

But the stars happen to have aligned for everyone today, and The Boy, The Girl, and The Tot all had playdates. The Girl and The Tot went over to a friends' house in the morning, while The Boy's good friend came over for Lego and other 9-year-old boy pursuits in the afternoon. 

We capped off the day with a 3-kid trip to Trader Joe's, where The Tot proceeded to throw a massive temper tantrum fueled, in part, by hunger and fatigue. 

Clean up, Clean up, Everybody Clean .... Oh, Wait

"It's not fair!" whined The Girl to me last week. I had asked her to put away the toys, clothes, books and art supplies that she and a friend had dragged--and left--out after that day's playdate. Although this plaint is commonly issued from The Girl's lips, as I helped her to put away these things, I realized: she's right.

It's not fair. But how did we get here? When The Boy, The Girl and The Tot were younger, I preferred to pick up the detritus of play myself. In our tiny Chicago foursquare, doing it myself was expeditious. But now that my children are bigger, and their toys are smaller, space efficiency is less important to me. And after three kids, the concept of "a place for everything and everything has its place" is considerably less important to me. But, I'm still working out how -- or whether -- to broach this subject with my friends and my children's friends. The subject has never really come up.

And it's an interesting question for which there is no one answer. Like common sense, the only thing common about it is the diversity of approaches. When I was a child, my parents and most of their friends were firmly in the "clean up before you go home" camp. But their attitude was not universally shared, even by neighbors or friends. To wit: as a child, I remember becoming incensed with a neighbor child who suddenly had to go home every time it came time to clean up. It seemed so patently unfair that I once physically blocked the doors until she agreed to clean up. (She didn't. My mother intervened. She wasn't allowed to come over to my house anymore. In full disclosure, she was two years older than me.) OK, so blocking her from leaving was wrong, but even as an adult, I don't understand why didn't she have to follow the rules?

Admittedly, the rules of engagement are different for my children than they were when I was a child. The only time my mother accompanied me to a playdate was when it was outside the neighborhood. While drop-off playdates are now the norm for The Tot, The Boy and The Girl, the rules for clean-up have not yet been established. Maybe now is the time to start laying the groundwork for play. House rules, if you will.

What do you think? What have you done? Do you have established rules for clean-up and playdates at your house? Do your children follow a certain protocol?

Flashback with a Twist

With the work-holiday, today was like a flashback to November 2008 -- plus two. After staying up way too late last night to work on my first Oliver + S project, I slept in a bit this morning. Then The Boy, The Girl, The Tot, and I headed out to Aurora to visit Cara and her ever-growing brood (the plus two since last year are Kenley and Tillie).

Cara and I had an an old-fashioned mom-visit, complete with tea and toys and kids running around all over the house. The Girl and Gracie, and The Boy and Johnny started back where they left off, playing Barbies and dolls, and battlefield-stars, respectively. The Tot eventually warmed up to the toys in the living room, and was quite upset when we left around 2:30 because Tillie had to go to the pediatrician's office. 

All three kids fell asleep in the car on the way home (w00t!). When we got home, The Boy and The Tot went on the L with The Dad, while I took The Girl to the Treasure Store. We picked up Aunt Sam, who is visiting from Texas this week for the holiday, along the way.  I love the Treasure Store: this cabinet (in white) for $20, plus the usual clothing deals. The Girl drove our departure from the store, but I want to go back for the mod cabinet and about half a dozen other pieces.

We had planned to go to CBA for dinner, but discovered after we parked and paid our LAX fee that it was closed for the holiday (or maybe it closes at 3 p.m.? I can't remember a time that I went there for anything other than lunch). I was quite surprised, but most of Lincoln Park-DuPaul seemed to be buttoned up for the day, actually.  With rumbling bellies, we trekked up Armitage to Halsted to see what sort of food we could procure that would be as suitable for me, Aunt Sam, and an adventurous-but-messily-attired 4-year-old

...and ended up at Cafe Ba Ba Reeba! I've been there only once before, in 2003, for a moms' night out with our playgroup. On that occasion, we waited for 20 minutes for our reservation. Tonight, we walked in and were seated immediately. Cafe Ba Ba Reeba is definitely tapas for an American (Chicago, Lincoln Park) palate, but it suited The Girl just fine. We ordered a few pintxos, potato salad, baked goat cheese with tomato sauce, artisanal cheese plate, chicken empanada, and fried green peppers. Plus mango sorbet and caramel-almond cake. The Girl is, and always has been, a fantastic dining companion, especially outside the negative influence of her brothers. She eats everything, is willing to try almost anything, and can be entertained with a pencil and paper or people-watching. We sat just opposite the main prep bar, so we had lots to see.

Impersonating a Yuppie

The pleasures of a two-year-old are simple, and simply attained. This morning, after a brief stop at the Independence Park farmer's market, I took The Tot on the train. We had no destination; merely got on the train and off the train at various stations (Harlem, Logan Square, Division) until we got tired of riding the train.

At Logan Square, I took him out of the station and up to the Gap Outlet, where he crawled under the racks and shrieked through the dressing room to hear the echo while I tried on clothes. We got a piecemeal lunch of cheese, bread, an apple, and lemonade at a bodega on Milwaukee, then got back on the train. Unfortunately, we got on the southbound train at that point, so we rode the crowded train down to Division before switching trains. At every station, The Tot waved good-bye to the departing train; most people were fairly amused by this and waved back to The Tot. Although the CTA bans eating on the train, we ate our lunch on the train, taking bites out of our hunk of cheese and apple. There was lots of cuddling and basic conversation. These moments are what I miss in returning to work.

When we returned home, we got in the car, picked up The Dad, and ran errands. The Boy had gone off this morning to Legoland with Allison, and with The Girl in Naperville, it was like we were a little family of 3 for today. So we did things that are easy enough with one child, like going to the AT&T store to pick out iPhones. Afterwards, we went to Whole Foods for free-range meats and organic milk. And finally, we cruised through Target for diapers and the obligatory Thomas-branded train (The Dad is such a sucker).

Mama-Boy Playdate

Yesterday, I enjoyed a rare treat: an afternoon out, one-on-one, with The Boy. We drove The Girl out to Oakbrook to meet Grandma-and-Grandpa Naperville for the weekend. And then spent a couple of hours bumming around together.

The Boy is just learning how to read and having some trouble with it. I love to read, and I really want The Boy to discover this joy as well. So I took him to Borders in Oakbrook. We started with a snack (cherry Italian soda and a marshmallow square for The Boy, hot tea and a snickerdoodle for me) and talked about school, Bakugan characters, and how he missed The Girl already.

Then we headed to the children's section, where we looked at picture books and easy readers. The Boy got a Henry and Mudge book as well as a more mature (but more appealing to my sensibilities) chapter book called The Magician's Boy, and a Star Wars Clone Wars comic book. It's funny, but having a challenged reader has changed my perspective on comic books completely. I refused to buy them when The Boy was younger, but I now think that anything that gets him to read is a good thing, even if the lead is "General Grievous," followed by lots of gobbledy-gook, complicated names.

I picked out a Little Golden Book for The Girl in the vintage style of which are both somewhat fond (Little Mommy), and another Max and Ruby book (Bunny Mail) for The Tot. Then we headed over to the literature section for about 5 minutes so that I could pick out books - the new Audrey Niffenegger and two novels by Alice Siddon and Ann Patchett.

The Boy declared that he was hungry and asked if we could go to McDonald's. Where better to go the golden arches than in their hometown? So we went to McDonald's flagship, where we both had chicken McNuggets and largely ignored each other while watching McDonald's TV on large flat screens mounted to the wall. We listened to music and talked a bit on the drive home.

Kindergarten Playdate

It was a highlight of the summer: a Saturday playdate/picnic with The Boy's kindergarten class and teacher at Disney II playground. The Girl, The Boy, The Tot and I all walked/biked over, and The Dad joined us later with the car (and coffee!). Although the tail-end of the meeting was rained out and not everyone came, there was a good turnout of classmates and their families and The Boy, The Girl and The Tot all had a good time.

Afterward, The Dad dropped me off at the Women's Building so that I could help the GIPNA crew set up and prep for the 6th annual Gourmet Pancake Breakfast.

Contemporary Art

We had an old-fashioned, Chicago Mama-style adventure today: The Boy, The Girl, The Tot and I took the Blue Line and the bus down to the MCA. We met Jenna and her kids to see the Olafur Eliasson exhibit.

... and discovered a farmer's market in the plaza on Mies Van Der Rohe. We stopped for a pastry at Floriole Bakery and then walked up and down the stairs a couple of times to wait for Jenna, whose problems parking surpassed our own in public transportation. The Tot did an amazing job with all those steps.

The Olafur Eliasson exhibit was pretty amazing. We explored it thoroughly while I kept a watchful eye on my tactile-happy children (fortunately, they did OK with the no-touching). The exhibit explored light and nature. I took from it that there's beauty in the simple things in nature (sunlight through water makes a rainbow, for example). My favorite section was the hall whose lights bleached everyone out to black-and-white. It was the coolest thing, although it did hurt my eyes.

After a quick stop at the children's art table set out front and at another farmer-vendor to get zucchini and arugula, we all walked over to Seneca Playlot to eat our potluck picnic lunch and play on slides and swings. Jenna and I actually got to chat during this portion of the day. They left about 1 to get home for decompression and naps.

We caught the bus down Michigan Avenue to Nordstrom to get The Boy a pair of school shoes in the anniversary sale. Then home via nearly the same route we took to come downtown. The Tot was pretty tired by the time we got home around 3 p.m.; he fell asleep on me on the train.

When we arrived home, The Boy took about 5 minutes to get inside the house, take off his shoes, check his toys, and then asked me if we were going to do anything fun today and declared himself bored. I declared that he could go explore the inside of his room! Gah!

Craft Mobile

The Girl stayed home from camp this morning and spent the day with The Boy, The Tot and me. We started the day by attending the Disney II kindergarten playdate; Caroline D. moved it this week to Kolmar Playlot so that we could take advantage of the park district's Craftmobile. From my perspective, this was a disastrous move; most of the kindergarten was at camp, Magic Mushroom, or other summer programs, and The Boy was not happy about playing with the 3 girls from his class who were at the park. He eventually calmed down enough to paint a beautiful dolphin as the craft. The Tot and The Girl painted dolphins as well.

We made a quick dash to K-Mart afterwards, where we ran into our neighbors D. and H. and their nanny. We met them a bit later at Athletic Field Park to run through the sprinklers together. I somehow ended up pulling 4 kids in our wagon on the way home. Oooof.

Playdates All-Around

This morning, we trekked up to Niles for The Girl's swim lesson at the Leaning Tower YMCA. The weather was finally decent enough for us to enjoy it, so The Boy and The Tot played on the equipment in the attached playground while The Girl had her lesson. I sat on a bench in the playground area observing all of their "Mama, look at me!" moments and making a few phone calls to line up social occasions for the afternoon and next week.

When The Girl's lesson was over, we went over to Target, as has become our custom, to pick up the 3 things on my list, have a snack, and kill time. The Boy and The Girl are at a double playdate at their friends' house now, The Tot is sleeping and I'm enjoying some quiet time. Sometimes, the best part of a mother's day is the part where her kids are happily and quietly occupied.

Mommy-The Girl Playdate

The Girl was pretty jealous of my field trip with The Boy yesterday, so we took advantage of The Dad's work schedule to take a Mommy-The Girl playdate this afternoon. I had once suggested to The Girl that we get her nails painted on one of these dates and that is indelibly stamped on her brain as the thing to do with me for one-on-one out-of-the-house times.

So we went to get pedicures and a manicure at Lee Nails in Six Corners. The best part of the experience for her may not have been the bright pink polish they put on both fingers and toes, but the Dora flip-flops that I bought her for the ride home so that the polish did not smear in her shoes. Once done with the nails, we still had an hour left in our time allotment, so we walked over to Marshall's to browse around. I tried on dresses (because somehow it's easier to go shopping with one child) and we found a new bedspread for The Girl that matches the color theme in her room (lavender and green) perfectly.

Mama-Girl Playdate

Yesterday, we had a family outing in the morning -- to Supercuts in Six Corners for haircuts for The Boy, The Girl and The Dad. The Tot played and I read Nylon. After that exciting morning, we headed up Cicero to Whole Foods - Sauganash to kill two birds with one stone: lunch at the grill and a 1/2 gallon of milk from the dairy case.

Once home again, I headed out again to Jo-Ann Fabrics to buy lining fabrics for my latest large-scale sewing projects: making pretty bags to sell at the GIPNA Fine Arts & Crafts Fair. The Tot took a nap and The Boy wanted to stay at home, so The Girl came with me and we made it a little Mama-The Girl playdate. She helpfully picked our fabrics with me, and then we braved the hail-like white substance that was then falling from the sky in advance of the April snow shower, and hurried over to Starbucks in the same strip mall for a snack. She got kids' hot cocoa with whipped cream and a blueberry muffin. She very nicely shared her hot cocoa with me and we talked about what we were going to do at her birthday party in a month, and what we should do in Seattle this week.

Then we went home. When we arrived at our car on the other side of the parking lot, it was parked to a VW Beetle. A pink VW Beetle. TG: "See Mama! I told you there were pink cars!" This pink VW Bettle had ears and a pug nose on its front and a curly tail on its back. The license plate read "JIMS PIG." She's still talking about it.

Moms & Tots, Playdate

The Tot and I started our Moms, Pops, & Tots Interaction class today at Independence Park. I haven't taken the class since The Boy was a baby (it is for kids aged 18-36M) and Miss Julie (now Kilbourn Park's Supervisor) was its instructor. I still see a handful of people from that class, but I was surprised to know many more moms/kids and even nannies/kids in today's class. I guess that is just one advantage to living in the same neighborhood and attending neighborhood events for the past 6+ years: recognizing or knowing many of the people in your children's activities.

Miss Teagan is the new instructor for the class and she kept the class moving with 1/2 hour of free play/socializing (The Tot liked the mini Little Tykes slide), 1/2 hour of singing/dancing and 1/2 hour of art/craft activity and snack. The Tot, who is normally quite slow to warm up to things (as Julie of Jammin' fame can attest), had so much fun that he did not want to leave to pick up The Girl from school.

But we did make it out of there and on-time to retreive The Girl from preschool. Afterwards, because we hadn't managed to see anyone from playgroup over the break, we went over to Becky's house for lunch and catching-up. The Girl and F. played rather well together, although The Girl inexplicably (to me) wanted to leave after about an hour. The Tot was extremely interested in Baby G. (9 months), which amused him a bit and scared the baby a lot. I got to drink coffee and visit with Becky. And a good time was had by all.

The Girl Has a Crush

...on N., who is The Boy's age. And for his part, N. is happy to accept The Girl's affection/attention. N. and his sister, M., (who is also 3.5) came over this afternoon for a little playdate. The Boy was a bit of a pill, but the girls and N. all had fun playing Candyland, dressing up, building with Magna-Tiles, and watching a movie. Many giggles were heard in our house this afternoon.

It was a nice addition to our day. The Dad took The Great White Moose out to the 'burbs today, so we were completely housebound. I have not left the house since Saturday evening, and although a pajamas-and-housework day was rather nice, I am ready to go somewhere tomorrow.

Summer Wanes

We got up and out this morning to meet Cheryl and her kids at the North Park Village Nature Center. When we arrived in the center at 10 a.m., the guide asked us if we were there for the preschool program. We weren't--I did not know there was such a thing--but we decided to join anyway. I wish I had known about it earlier! Sean, the guide, was really good at both engaging and controlling about 15 kids aged 3-6. We read a book about water (The Water Dance) and then went outside to experiment with water and a trough of sand. The Girl was especially entranced by Sean and the outside activity, but The Boy got into it, too.

After about 1/2 an hour, I went back to find Cheryl and her kids in the discovery room. Her son joined in the river fun. Then we all went on a nature walk on the main loop. The Tot fell asleep in the sling during the walk. Around noon, we were all hungry, so we headed back to the parking lot.

I took the kids to Target for lunch and a few odds and ends. Afterwards, we stopped at a small grocery store on Peterson and Lincoln that I imagined was going to be like the Family Fruit Market. It was similar, but much smaller. At first, I thought it would be carry a lot of kosher products, given the number of Orthodox Jews I observed exiting the store, but it turns out that the specialty is Greek. We got some yummy, hand-formed Challah bread, bananas, rice milk, grape tomatoes, cauliflower, and fresh mozzarella cheese.

I took Jersey Avenue south to get home, mistakenly thinking it would turn into Kimball Avenue. Instead, it turned into Kedzie Avenue. The Boy said, "Hey, that's where S. lives!" so we turned down her street and ended up having an impromptu playdate with S., F., G., and their mother. On the way home, we stopped for another unplanned side trip: the gas station and car wash. The Girl has been begging me to go through the car wash every time she sees one or thinks about it, so I took The Great White Moose in for a bath after filling up her tank with gas. The Tot seems to have recovered from his fear of the car wash; he was wide-eyed and curious about it the trailer took us through the automatic car wash, but he did not once cry.