Chicago Mama

Teachers and Students

2011-09-23T18:10:00.000-05:00

All over Chicago, bloggers, message boarders, reporters and post-school playgrounds are abuzz with news of waiver votes happening at schools scattered throughout the city. For my family, the extended school day is nothing new.

What is new is that CPS paying for it. Or, more accurately, the teachers at our school voted to give up their stipend and take the flat 2 percent payout + $150,000 in discretionary funds of the Pioneer Program in exchange for teaching school for an additional 45 minutes (to our already extended day) each day. Starting Monday, The Boy and The Girl will attend school from 8 a.m. until 3:30 p.m., giving them an extra 5 minutes for lunch and 40 total minutes added to the music, art, technology and physical education that they already receive, giving them a full 60 minutes to explore these subjects. They'll retain the daily 90-minute literacy and math blocks that make up the core of their instructional day.

There is much debate over the extended day and public education in general these days in public forums and private living rooms and everywhere in between. Unfortunately, in education policy--as in parenting--we may only see the effects of our immediate actions 10 or 20 years down the line. But, I am fairly confident that a 7.5-hour day, structured in the above manner, will afford my children the kind of education I think that they--and their peers--need to become productive members of society in 16+ years. I believe that this new longer day will look nothing like the CPS-as-babysitter model feared by many.

And more importantly, the teachers at my children's school believe that this longer day is beneficial to the children. So much so that 83 percent of them voted to take a significant pay cut. In light of this, I am disappointed to learn that the 2011 Blue Ribbon Commission recommended that teachers pursue children-of-teacher admission to their schools as a benefit through CPS' Human Capital division (page 4). Won't someone please think about the teachers?

Fathers and School

2011-09-08T09:33:00.000-05:00

Last May, Grandma Texas came to visit during a school week. She came with me on a Thursday afternoon to pick up The Boy, The Girl and The Tot (Who Isn't) from school and her observation about life at the kids' urban elementary school struck me as odd: she was surprised to see so many fathers at school. She thought that this was perhaps a Chicago thing, but more recent news makes me think it's yet another sign of school success.

Perhaps it's because The Dad has worked from home since we moved to Chicago 9 years ago, or the acquaintance of a fair number of police officers and fire fighters (both male and female) and nurses, but a sizable population of involved fathers has never struck me as odd. And fathers at our school are involved. And more to the point, their involvement is visible and tangible, regardless of individual race, educational level, marital status, address, generation, age or socioeconomic status, fathers are very involved at our school. They drop off their kids, pick up their kids, attend parent-education events, lead fundraising, chaperone field trips, direct traffic, volunteer in class, read books, coach extracurricular sports and bring special activities (like the Pilot Light Chefs) to our school.

I've always taken this for granted, but it's actually anomalous in Chicago today. Per new CPS chief Jean-Claude Brizard, such involvement is so rare in some neighborhoods as to be bizarre. In some areas of the city, in fact, according to Brizard, census data show that there are some neighborhoods where there are no males between the ages of 18 and 35 living there. They are all either incarcerated or dead, he said.

Although my father was not intimately involved in my early elementary years in the early 80s, I feel fortunate that I cannot really imagine a world bereft of dads. And I thank goodness that my kids--and their classmates--do not have to either.

The Big Blue Box

2011-07-13T20:39:00.002-05:00

On Monday morning, our power went out. A City of Chicago tree crashed into a ComEd power line, taking two power boxes and power for 90.9 percent of the houses on our block along with it. ComEd and the City sounded worse than my children during a squabble ("It's not my fault. You fix it." "No, you fix it first." "No, you." "NO, YOU."), leaving us without power for a dreadful 36 hours.*

What was a mama to do? Go to IKEA, of course!

I love IKEA. Certainly not as much as these folks, and probably not as much as the friend who once sent weekly countdown emails for the opening of the Emeryville IKEA, but my love for IKEA has been fierce and unwavering since my French host family took me to "Chez IKEA" in Paris when I was 17. I love Chicago because it's got O'Hare and a direct line to anywhere in the world, but I also love it because it's got two IKEA stores within a 40-minute drive.

I go there when it's cold outside (indeed, it was The Boy's first outing in February 2003). I go there when it's hot outside (as I told a family friend earlier this week, it's cheaper than a trip to the movies). I go to put the kids in Smaland. I go for inspiration, for lunch, to kill time, or because I just haven't been there in awhile.

* I know there were households worse off than we were. I'm just sayin'

Not quite the 7th of July

2011-07-10T12:58:00.000-05:00

But the transcripts from the Blue Ribbon Commission hearings are finally up on the OAE site.

BRC Redux

2011-07-03T00:57:00.004-05:00

The Dad, the kids and I rolled back into town after our first ever family road trip on Monday night around 11 p.m. Less than 24 hours later, I was back in the auditorium of Lane Tech, listening to the same CPS administrator review this year's proposed changes to SE/magnet enrollment policy (see page 6). Unlike at last year's presentation, which was sketchily announced and scarcely attended, yet expertly presented, the crowd this year was huge. Public comment extended beyond the allotted 2-hour window. (CPS is learning that the best way to contact parents is not to stick a print ad next to the obits in the Trib.)

Like last year, I spoke to the Blue Ribbon Commission. Unlike last year, the moderator responded to comments and questions from the crowd. My comments were not news--either to the audience, which included the Raise Your Hand Coalition steering committee and a few teachers and fellow parents from the kids' school, or to the CPS powers-that-be: we need more high school options, we need to increase the size of the pie all-around. This sentiment was oft-repeated by those who gave testimony at the hearing.

Another common theme among commenters was how unfair CPS's 2009 SE enrollment policies are to their junior high children. The prevailing sentiment was that their ("our") northside children are more deserving of a spot at Northside Prep, Walter Payton, or Jones because they scored 20 points (or 50 points or even 100 points) higher than a kid who has to bus in from the west or south sides. You'll soon be able to read the transcript online, so you'll be able to verify that a man said, "the smarter kids are going to become disenfranchised" by CPS' current SE enrollment policy/system. Really? I'd like to see some research on that. Because I know there is a whole lot on how black, Hispanic, Asian, and poor children become disenfranchised by a dearth of opportunity. More on this issue at another time.

And the other major theme at Tuesday's hearing was the issue of enrolling the children of school staff at magnet schools. I had read about the policy-change proposal drafted by the Friends of Mayer group several weeks ago on NPN, but it wasn’t until I attended the hearing that I realized the import of such a change. The proposal asks that CPS/Blue Ribbon Commission replace principal discretion at magnet schools with a new, transparent policy that would allow teachers, principals and staff to enroll their children at the school where their parent(s) work.

I was directly and positively affected by the Board of Education’s 2009 decision to keep families together by giving siblings priority in the magnet enrollment process. Keeping siblings together in their schooling minimizes family stress and maximizes educational outcomes for students. Likewise, keeping school employees’ children with them in the school communities they serve is critical for the continued success of great CPS elementary schools.

As I listened to parent after parent and teacher after teacher speak in support of keeping families together, it struck me that our school community and our children will bear an incredible loss if our extremely dedicated teachers, administrators or staff were forced to measure their time between their children and their students. Can you imagine our school without the excellent teachers who have been with the school since its inception and, I believe, are an integral part of its success? I do not want to do so.

You can show your support for fabulous teachers, administrators and school staff everywhere within CPS by submitting public comment in favor of allowing teachers, administrators and staff to enroll their children in the magnet schools where their parent(s) work by submitting public comment here.

Progress Reports

2011-06-13T23:22:00.002-05:00

Today marks the last Monday of attendance* in the Chicago Public Schools' 2010-2011 academic year. The Boy and The Girl will receive their final progress report during their one-hour of attendance on Friday. The Tot Who Isn't will receive his on Wednesday. And, apparently, individual Chicago Public Schools will receive a progress report before September as well.

At least that's what Jean-Claude Brizard, Chicago Public Schools' newest chief, said this afternoon when a group of parents and I met with him.

Haven't we done this before? Will Mr. Brizard reveal new data that wasn't previously available on the CPS website? Sure, navigating the CPS website is/was difficult, as Mr. Brizard pointed out in his remarks to us today. But while reporting the data is important, it's significantly less important (at least to our audience) than improving the number of high-quality educational seats available across the board. After all, nearly everyone in the room could share a story--whether personal, familial or anecdotal--of parental frustration in navigating the application process or gaining admission to a school of their choice.

I feel fortunate (OK, I feel like I won the lottery) that The Girl, The Boy and The Tot Who Isn't attend a school that is a school of choice for much of the northwest side. The Boy is going into 3rd grade, so now I'm looking at high schools. I'm pleased to see the Northside High School Initiative and the increased interest in and support of Lakeview High, but that doesn't do much for kids out here in the boondocks of the northwest side. They deserve a great high school option as well, I told Mr. Brizard. Another parent echoed this sentiment, sharing that the handful of well-known great high schools (Northside Prep, Jones, Whitney Young, Walter Payton) don't provide enough seats to enroll all of the kids like ours, who will likely come out of their current school well-prepared and excited for a vigorous, challenging high school education. Mr. Brizard pointed out that there are other great high schools outside of this list, but they are less known because of the lack of data on them.

Such things are possible. But as a research-oriented parent, I am a bit skeptical.

Mr. Brizard pointed out that within CPS, there are essentially two school systems. Some people, he noted, have choices. Some do not. Call me what you will, but it's important enough to me to burn time with the CEO of the CPS to advocate for increased high school opportunities (or choices) for our elementary school's current population. While I'd argue that our group, as parents of children in a highly sought-after magnet school, was not really in the "non-choice" group, I can get behind an initiative that brings more information (and more transparency, and more accountability, per Mr. Brizard) to a wider swath of the city's population. Provided that the information itself has real meaning. (What does it mean that School A's academic performance was above/below the citywide average for last year? Is the number of teachers who choose to stay at a school more important than the number of teachers who are retained?).

It's not surprising that Mr. Brizard didn't yet have concrete plans for how he'd accomplish an increase in educational choices. I mean, he's only been in the job for less than a month. While he did tout his 25 years of experience as a school administrator and high school teacher, he does have a monster of a job in front of him: improving educational opportunities for all, on a shoestring budget, and in the face of parental non-involvement, poverty and other obstacles to success. I'm curious to see how he'll implement plans to introduce "new school operators," to CPS and how those operators, such as Expeditionary Learning, will improve educational outcomes.

Only time will tell. I'll be watching.

* For regular schedule track schools

Vintage Schmintage

2011-06-09T22:00:00.002-05:00

A few weeks ago, The Girl and I attended The Vintage Bazaar's pop-up in a Pilsen warehouse space. I had been following BackGarage with interest since it was posted a few years ago on Reddit Chicago. I really wanted to like the pop-up, but I found it "meh." My most interesting purchase was 6 vintage buttons from a 70s deadstock vendor. (My only other purchase was a vegan s'mores brownie from Bleeding Heart Bakery.) Otherwise, the pop-up was a nice stroll through the visual reminders of my early years, but really, the early 1970s were pretty horrible design-wise: I'll leave the avocado green, mustard yellow and basic brown dishware sets to someone far removed from the era -- like the hipsterish couples who were waiting for the bus to take them back to Uki Village.

I think that for me, part of the thrill of vintage is the thrill of the hunt. And while some vendors at the pop-up had some gorgeous mid-century modern pieces, a lot of them just had a lot of junk. Old chairs covered in layers of peeling paint, Samsonite leatherette suitcases, an old Mason jar full of marbles, stained linen pillowcases and other pieces of crap. It was not unlike digging through the bins at the Salvation Army or an estate sale at an Indiana farmhouse. The difference being that the S.A. is cheaper and the Indiana farmhouse offers the opportunity to use my imagination about what that family might have hung on their handmade hat tree (which now, for a mere $5, graces my entryway).

There were a handful of tastefully and sparsely displayed booths featuring mid-century modern furnishings. It's a look that is appealing to me--living in a 1400 SF Chicago foursquare has deepened the appeal of mid-century modern with its box-on-legs look and hide-the-electronics functionality. But, for all the appeal of artfully displayed 1960s glassware, I prefer my decorating touches to come in the form of Wii remotes and contemporary Matchbox cars.

Tortured Artists

2011-06-08T23:52:00.001-05:00

Enjoy the cooler weather with art, music, food and beer in one of Chicago’s most beautiful neighborhoods at the Arts Alive! Festival this Saturday, June 11th from 3-10 p.m. Located on the grounds and surrounding streets of Disney II Magnet school in Old Irving Park, Arts Alive is a celebration of art in all its forms.

Children can learn dance, song, digital movie production, puppeteering and floral design, or have their faces painted during the festival’s 3-hour children’s tent from 3-6 p.m. The festival also features culinary demonstrations from top Chicago chefs for children and their parents, and delectable Texas BBQ from local favorite Smoque BBQ Plus live music all afternoon and evening with Super Stolie, Funkadesi, d’Go-Beat and American English.

Admission is $10/adult before 6pm; $15/adult after 6pm; Kids under 12 are free.

The Great White Moose

2011-05-22T02:02:00.000-05:00

I have come to hate The Great White Moose. It's not for the standard "my car is a reflection/extension of my personality" reasons. It'd be far easier to explain my mounting negative feelings toward my minivan if it were merely that The Great White Moose makes me feel like a middle-aged soccer mom instead of the urban hipster with kids that I am. For the record, it doesn't and I'm not. Instead, it's my realization that I am constantly bumping into things with this car.

On any given Monday morning, the streets around school are filled with Siennas, Odysseys, Suburbans, and various other large SUVs and minivans. When I drive past the Mount Olive parking lot on co-op days, it looks much the same. When The Boy was 2 and I first started parking my tiny Volkswagon Passat wagon in that lot among all those minivans, I was heartened to see so many minivans in a large city. But really: minivans are not made for cities with tight parking lots and parallel parking spaces.

Although I still insist that The Boy sit in a booster seat at age 8 and 60 pounds, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel of carseat vision. Does this mean I can give up this monster? It's like driving around a giant, unwieldy couch. Maybe that is redundant.

Clean up, Clean up, Everybody Clean .... Oh, Wait

2011-04-27T01:14:00.000-05:00

"It's not fair!" whined The Girl to me last week. I had asked her to put away the toys, clothes, books and art supplies that she and a friend had dragged--and left--out after that day's playdate. Although this plaint is commonly issued from The Girl's lips, as I helped her to put away these things, I realized: she's right.

It's not fair. But how did we get here? When The Boy, The Girl and The Tot were younger, I preferred to pick up the detritus of play myself. In our tiny Chicago foursquare, doing it myself was expeditious. But now that my children are bigger, and their toys are smaller, space efficiency is less important to me. And after three kids, the concept of "a place for everything and everything has its place" is considerably less important to me. But, I'm still working out how -- or whether -- to broach this subject with my friends and my children's friends. The subject has never really come up.

And it's an interesting question for which there is no one answer. Like common sense, the only thing common about it is the diversity of approaches. When I was a child, my parents and most of their friends were firmly in the "clean up before you go home" camp. But their attitude was not universally shared, even by neighbors or friends. To wit: as a child, I remember becoming incensed with a neighbor child who suddenly had to go home every time it came time to clean up. It seemed so patently unfair that I once physically blocked the doors until she agreed to clean up. (She didn't. My mother intervened. She wasn't allowed to come over to my house anymore. In full disclosure, she was two years older than me.) OK, so blocking her from leaving was wrong, but even as an adult, I don't understand why didn't she have to follow the rules?

Admittedly, the rules of engagement are different for my children than they were when I was a child. The only time my mother accompanied me to a playdate was when it was outside the neighborhood. While drop-off playdates are now the norm for The Tot, The Boy and The Girl, the rules for clean-up have not yet been established. Maybe now is the time to start laying the groundwork for play. House rules, if you will.

What do you think? What have you done? Do you have established rules for clean-up and playdates at your house? Do your children follow a certain protocol?

Urbanism and Child Safety

2011-04-12T23:21:00.001-05:00

I've never really thought my parenting "style" or outlook was very different than the norms for my age, socioeconomic group or educational background. Sure, I made some parenting decisions that were a bit different than the national norms (cloth diapering, breastfeeding beyond 3 months) and even familial ones (ahem, circumcision). But after nearly two years on NPN, an active paid community of Chicago(land) parents, I've come to the conclusion that my point of view on parenting topics, especially as they relate to child safety, is outside the norm.

My neighbor, an avid reader of the same site, recently congratulated me on my status as "worst mother in America," as judged by our fellow NPN mothers. I leave my children in the (non-running, locked) car for less than 10 minutes while I drop off my dry-cleaning, pick up their sibling from a playdate at a friend's house, and even when I desperately need a caffeine shot at my local Starbucks. My opponents contend that such practices are dangerous. Something could happen to the car while I am gone. "Something"could happen to the car while I am in it.

Don't misunderstand me: I am not a risk-taker by nature, and I am utterly horrified by violence or abuse to a child (or anyone). I've been fortunate not to have experienced it firsthand, and that may guide my perspective. But I refuse to live in fear and I don't want to make my children unnecessarily anxious either. I have not yet read Gavin de Becker's The Gift of Fear; I understand that his point is that you should trust the sense of fear or uneasiness you get about some people or situations. I totally understand that, and think it makes sense. But I refuse to look for it, especially in situations where it may not be there.

Recently, two separate NPN posts asked about related issues: how long can you take your opposite-sex child with you into the restroom in a public place, such as Target? And how long can you take your opposite-sex child with you into the locker room at the pool? Note that the questions were worded in this way, which suggests that this behavior (taking opposite-sex child with you) is desired, versus the way I would have asked them: At what age is it OK to allow your opposite-sex child to use the restroom in a public place and/or use the opposite-sex change room?

The prevailing view on NPN was that it's OK until your boy is age 9. Nine? Are they kidding? That's the same age that Lenore Skenazy's son was when she left him at a Manhattan Bloomingdale's with $20 and a subway map.

The Boy is 8. He's been peeing at the local Target since he was 6. And I've been saying the same thing every time he goes in: don't talk to anyone, don't let anyone touch you and scream like hell if someone tries to touch you. No one ever has.

While stories like this one are frightening, I wish more parents would take it for what it is: fear-mongering. Yes, it happened and yes it was horrible, but it's also exceedingly rare (or statistically insignificant) for children to be molested by strangers (in a bathroom or otherwise). The data does not support the idea that something was likely to happen to The Boy today when we found ourselves at the end of an L ride in the Thompson Center with full bladders and a cross-town appointment in 10 minutes. While using the restroom in the basement of the Thompson Center has never been my top restroom destination, you get what you get sometimes. Our experience bore out the stats: no problems.

What do you think? How tight should we keep the reins on our children? Is the risk of harm greater for city kids? Does it depend on where in the city?

Boomerang

2011-04-09T00:23:00.000-05:00

Well, that was fun while it lasted. By choice, I'll be back on the SAHM circuit on Monday. It sounds clichéd, but this really is the right thing for our family. Between childcare costs and taxes, I was taking home 8 cents on the dollar. Yes, you read that right.

I have mixed feelings about it. As I said last year, working full-time in a rigid job is a killer. Everything from going to school functions to cooking to doing laundry is a hassle. But the flip side is the intellectual flat-line that often accompanies spending 14 hours a day in the company of 3 children who all want your attention, right now. When I told my co-workers that I was leaving to return to the SAHM life, most expressed envy. As The Dad said, there is such romanticism about staying at home.

2011-01-17T01:38:00.000-06:00

The Boy recently completed a more in-depth, take-home project for school: the lifecycle of the crocodile. The Internets was not so helpful, so we headed to the library. Mama had to work over the break, and The Dad wasn't thinking about crocodiles or libraries. Throw in a major holiday and CPL's abbreviated schedule and our only hope for book help was a library in the suburbs.

We chose the Highland Park library. One of my friends works there, and I had been there previously for a story hour with her, so I knew my way around the place, making it a good choice. Plus, it was open on Sunday. I called my friend to get the scoop, and headed up there.

The Boy and I made it a Mama-The Boy playdate of sorts. We drove up to downtown Highland Park and spent 10 minutes looking for parking. Then we had lunch at Potbelly. Except for the Potbelly, I felt like I was in a John Hughes movie. Queue up the Simple Minds.

The library and the children's librarian who helped us were both very nice. Although the public library system is open to all, regardless of residency or tax status, I felt a bit weird about being there. Probably because we didn't have Highland Park library cards (and in fact owe a mint in overdue fines on our CPL cards) and weren't checking out books. Instead, we settled down on one of the smaller tables in the children's reference section, took out a notebook and a few pencils and got to work.

The Boy read out interesting facts while I took the notes (in printing!). It was quiet in the library for about half an hour. Then a little boy came in with his father and his father's friends, who proceeded to have a loud conversation while the boy tried to get his father's attention. They left about 5 minutes later, thank goodness. Another little girl came in with her mother, who got a phone call not 30 seconds later. Fortunately, it did not bother The Boy, who was busy discerning new facts about crocodiles from those that he knew already.

Da Mayor

2010-12-27T22:31:00.002-06:00

Two weeks ago, I attended the Raise Your Hand Coalition/Better Government Association's Mayoral Forum on Education. Only four candidates were present: Gerry Chico, Miguel del Valle, Carol Moseley Braun and James Meeks. Danny Davis was voting in Washington, and it was said that Rahm Emmanuel didn't want to acknowledge the other candidates as competition by appearing in the panel.

At this stage of the game, I'm pretty much a one-issue voter. And that issue is education. So it was with a vested interest (although apparently not one that represents "the people of Chicago") that I attended the forum, listening closely to each candidate's answers to Andy Shaw's questions. It was a fairly calm event, put on in the style of a panel of pontification rather than a discussion or debate—heated or otherwise. We heard from each of the candidates in turn as they responded to both Shaw's and Walter Payton H.S. students' questions about the problems and proposed solutions—whether theirs or someone else's—on the table about lower education in the city of Chicago.

My impression of James Meeks hadn’t changed since I first encountered him on the PNC Bank-Tribune panel in September: he’s great for comic relief, but I wasn’t terribly impressed with his “we at the legislature want accountability” stance on public education. It doesn’t really matter: he nailed his political coffin shut with his prejudicial remarks on minorities and then dropped out of the race.

Gery Chico started speaking and I initially liked what he had to say, as the former president of the Board of Trustees of CPS. I’d like to examine his record—just because someone touts a positive action as his/her responsibility doesn’t make it true. (I can’t remember the last time someone took responsibility for a negative action/inaction or mistake.) The whole idea that there were six years of educational reform and progress in CPS seems amazing. Is it true? It probably depends on your point of view and/or an in-depth analysis of the politics of education in Chicago over the past 10 years. Can anyone point me to a policy/results comparison of 1996-2001 and 2002-2008? I can’t be sure, but the fact that Mayor Daley was critical of Chico recently is probably a positive indicator of his ability to run the city and the schools.

I was less impressed in general with Miguel del Valle, although I give him snaps for not taking campaign contributions from city vendors. I started tuning out on his plan after he suggested community learning centers as the answer for poor education/parenting.

Another candidate I liked at the forum was Carol Moseley Braun. Part of the reason that I don’t like Sarah Palin is that I think the person running the country/state/city should be smarter than me. Moseley Braun has the kind of C.V. and poise that leaves me in awe. This will probably mark me as an elitist, but the thought of her representing the city of big shoulders to the outside world makes me smile. That said, her comments were very high level; I found myself wanting more “meat.” If we’re going to hold “the schools accountable,” what does that mean? Her characterization of past Chicago events were spot-on, but so what? Knowing where you came from is important, but it’s not a solution. Give me the goods.

What about you? Did you attend the Mayoral Forum? Are you watching any mayoral candidates?

Extending the Day

2010-12-10T13:02:00.000-06:00

Yesterday, I spent an hour explaining CPS kindergarten matriculation to a co-worker. He was surprised to learn many things about CPS, but none threw him more than the average length of the CPS school day: an abysmal 5 hours and 45 minutes. He was also shocked to learn that unlike the suburban district in which we both grew up, the start and end times of the CPS school day are inconsistent across the country’s 3rd largest school district.

Coincidentally, my friend Sonia sent me this Catalyst story yesterday about the average length of school days at CPS versus elsewhere. It was published nearly a year ago, in January 2010, but with the mayoral election and just about everything else in Chicago (politics) in flux, now is the time to rally the cry of a longer school day for Chicago students. On the whole, they probably need it more than their well-heeled suburban counterparts.

As the conversation builds, I cannot help but look to my children’s school as an example. It’s an example not only of how the extended day can improve educational outcomes, but also of the cost such initiatives bear. While other schools fundraise for a climbing wall, auditorium update or a red-tape-defying exercise room, we’re spending countless volunteer hours to bridge the gap between the CPS budget and requirements for our teachers’ (much-deserved, in my opinion) salaries and stipends. I’m told that that the fundraising push will have an end-date when the school reaches full capacity not long into the future. Thank goodness, because I am not sure that half the school's families can continue to bridge the budget gap without developing a sense of entitlement, frustration or both.

Admittedly, I have elementary-aged children who are in 2nd grade and kindergarten, respectively. Except for The Boy’s disastrous preschool year at a local parochial school, I have no parental experience with other schools, or educational or curriculum models. Only time will tell if it’s the right choice for The Boy, The Girl, The Tot (Who Isn’t) and their 309 school and classmates. To some extent, I have faith in the system, in the teachers who say that the longer school day allows them to get deeper into subject matter and give students the tools and time to follow their imaginations. Besides, it’s what suburban districts do, and what experts increasingly say is the right answer.

In my late teens, I lived with a family in France who had 3 young children who were in K-4th grade equivalents during my stay. They attended class every day from 8 until 4, and a ½ day on Wednesdays. I have no idea if the French are as well-prepared for a successful working life as the rest of the world -- (they also have a lot of roadblocks to the educational system, beginning with the prémier bac en français, which can keep students in high school until they are well into their 20s) -- but they certainly emphasize the importance of classroom learning (and a full hour to eat one’s lunch and run around).

Quality of instruction issues aside, the truncated school day is yet another example of a policy decision that ultimately punishes working Chicagoans. When I suggested to my co-worker that he check that the school hours worked for his family's needs, he sputtered, "You mean, they are not all the same??" How on Earth are you supposed to get to work on time when you have to drop your child off to school at 8:30, or pick him up at 1:45 p.m.? Although some Chicago firms allow workers to flex their schedules, many do not. In the Chicago Tribune's list of top-100 Chicago-area companies, almost half were located outside the bounds of the city. Positive cashflow may be good for the mayor, but does it create an ideal urban environment for the worker?

Choosing the right school for your child - glimpses of life on the other side

2010-12-07T19:02:00.000-06:00

I sometimes feel as if I’m a character in a plebeian version of The Nanny Diaries. As an activist, blogophile, volunteer and mother to three children within the Chicago Public Schools, I am often asked what I think about the system as it stands now. Do I like my children’s school? Do I regret not sending my children to an SE program? Would I make the same decision? How did I know that the school is the right fit for my kids? How do I know that now?

The people doing the asking are much the same as I was a couple of years ago. They are concerned about the arduous and very important task of educating our children. They are unable or unwilling to consider private schools, and are committed to city living. They are also worried and scared about what is going to happen in the next 5-6 months, and how those decisions—entirely out of their control—will affect their children.

The truth is: I don’t know these things. I was not sure if the school I chose for The Boy was the right one for his style of learning. Before we had ever seen the inside of a classroom, met more than one teacher or the principal, or had any idea what the school would actually be like, The Dad and I were attracted to the technology aspect of the school. I’ve heard Karen Lewis say that, although we're living in the 21st century, our school system is still based on a 19th century model. While it may be the only issue upon which Ms. Lewis and I agree, that technology is integral to the success of our society, both now and in the future, seems indisputable.

How can a parent accurately judge what kind of learner their 5-year-old is? I often try to be deliberate and thoughtful in my parenting, but trying to figure out how to match the tab to the slots feels like rocket science: infinitely difficult. My criteria for choosing The Boy’s school went something like this:

1. He got in
2. It’s walking distance from our house
3. It’s got a technology focus
4. It’s a new school with new equipment
5. Its teachers are well-spoken and well-dressed
6. It’s backed by Boeing

Some studies suggest that it may not really matter anyway: family involvement is critical to student success.

And if The Boy’s kindergarten year was any indication, The Dad and I were very involved in his academic progress. I think this was the hardest adjustment for me. When I was in K in 1979, I went for 2.5 hours, sang songs, drew pictures, learned my letters and how to get along with the other kids in my class. I didn't have daily homework until I was in 7th grade. But my kindergartner had daily homework in the second week.

The current educational climate expects children to do more work at a faster pace and at more advanced levels than it did when I was in K. It seems like K is the new 1st grade, preschool is the new K. And the level of teachers' and administrators' expectations of children is so much higher than it was 20-30 years ago.

I was wary of the academic pressure on a 5-year-old who hadn’t yet decided that learning was a fun activity. Was I doing the right thing? Why weren’t my friends’ kids doing so much work? How much is too much? But: the teachers were so nice and so passionate about their work and the kids. The administration held fast to the belief that this was the best way. So we stuck it out, gritting our teeth at first until we became accustomed to the level of work required of our 5-year-old.

I’m a pragmatic decision-maker – this means I like to see results rather than every data point under the sun. And I can see the results in The Boy’s academic progress. Two-and-half years later, I’m still not sure what kind of learner The Boy is. But I do know this: he is thriving.

The Reform Movement Builds

2010-12-06T13:56:00.000-06:00

While Ron Huberman may not have been the person to overhaul the Chicago Public Schools, the winds of change may be picking up speed with today's announcement. Michelle Rhee may have been no match for the D.C. public school teachers, but she has re-surfaced in California's capital city with a new reform project.

I'm not entirely sure that the answer to the problems in the U.S. educational system lie with Waiting for Superman and the changes Rhee enacted in D.C., I do know that something has got to change. Because the system, as it stands now, just doesn't work. I feel like this is well-known at this point. But the idealist in me is heartened to see it go national.

I feel fortunate that my children's school is a school that works. My children have great teachers. I am continually in awe of their drive, passion and dedication. I'm a passionate writer, but I don't think I have half the skills required of good teachers.

Lincoln Park, the Suburbs and High School

2010-11-29T23:35:00.006-06:00

On Sunday, I went to dinner for the first time at John's Place in Lincoln Park. I knew only that it was kid-friendly and had to have good food because Melissa has spoken about it. Our party of 9 adults and 3 kids was there for a little over 2 hours. The magician and balloon-blower who came to provide entertainment to The Boy, The Girl and The Tot (Who Isn't) was able to get in some real humor with our audience. He had just blown up balloons for the two kids, two dads and a pregnant mom at an adjacent table. In our time at the restaurant, that table turned over twice while the rest or the restaurant stayed fairly empty. Both times, the table was populated by babies and toddlers and their REI-clad parents.

I remarked upon this with a bit of surprise to my closest urban tablemate, The Dad's cousin's fiancée. She was not surprised, telling me that the neighborhood comprises her peers (mid-30s) with their young children. In fact, she said, one of her friends with two kids used to live in the area until she'd outgrown her condo and moved to the suburbs.

Ah, the suburbs. I've been a Chicago resident since 2002. This Thanksgiving is the 9th I've spent in this house. I joke to my husband that he'll have to drag me kicking and screaming to the suburbs. And yet.

There it is. Always. Looming over me. Although it did surprise me to learn that the average demographic of Lincoln Park is now essentially a rolled back version of me, what follows doesn't particularly surprise me: Grown-up Trixies and Chads get married, buy condos, have babies and flee to the suburbs. Where the grass is always green and the schools are always good. Or so I'm led to believe.

Sociologically, I find this phenomenon interesting. I was raised in the suburbs by two former urbanites (NYC). The Dad was raised in the suburbs by one suburbanite and one rural Hoosier. My father (Grandpa Texas) spent my son's first three years trying to convince me that I'd want to move the suburbs. That I should want to move to the suburbs. But, to quote my friend Sonia, I just don't want to.

And I do wonder: what's wrong with me that I don't? After all, it is what people with means do. Among the women of my moms' group, who are all like me: educated women with the means for mobility, whether upward or outward, there are more of us who have moved outside the city than who have retained residency.

At the moment, I think my reluctance to leave the city has much to do with both luck and a deeply ingrained stubborn streak. In 2008, The Boy won the CPS lottery, gaining admission into what is turning out to be a great public elementary school. By luck again, CPS changed the policy for sibling admissions and The Girl also attends the same great school. Luckily for me, The Dad talked me into a single-family house in what is a really great neighborhood, so I have a garage, patch of grass and three floors upon which we can scatter our stuff.

The big unknown, of course, is high school. We're still five to six years away from the high school decision, but if time flows at the same rate as it has since 2003, it will be here before we know it. My biggest concern is academics: Will The Boy get into one of the six current selective-enrollment schools in the city? And whether he does or doesn't, how can we hold our schools accountable to meet a high academic standard? What is the formula in the suburbs that makes suburban schools regarded as universally better than Chicago public schools? And can we replicate it? Is there a way to solve the fundamental barriers to success for some CPS students?

The Dad's biggest concern in the high school picture is the social influence: how to keep The Boy out of trouble? Will we hurt our child's overall chances for success if we keep him in an urban school environment? Can you make a "good" kid bad? And how far are we willing to take the social experiment of trying to even the playing field when it comes to our own children's future success or failure, happiness or misery?

The statistics about high school students' success released by the Chicago Public Schools are grim. These statistics report that only 30 of 100 H.S. freshmen will go on to enter college; only 6 will go to highly selective schools. They consider the University of Illinois one such highly selective school. Yikes! Twenty percent of my suburban high school went to the University of Illinois -- and most of us considered it "slumming it" because we weren't headed for an Ivy. These stats were drawn in part from a 2006 University of Chicago study that suggests that, once again, luck will be on our side in the high school and college admissions process. This reassures me on an academic level, but does nothing to relieve The Dad's concerns about the potential for bad influence.

And it doesn't discount that staying in the city surely promises a lot of work in our future. I'm not sure I have it in me to dig into turning around the local high school.

What about you? Are you planning to stay in the city for the long haul? Do you plan to move to the suburbs? Have you already moved to the suburbs? Do you think there's a way for CPS to turn it around? Are you involved in the CPS process at any level?

Transparency in Politics

2010-11-17T06:45:00.005-06:00

On Monday, politicos--would-be and otherwise--kicked off the mayoral race by filing their petitions with the city. The Sun-Times reported that the mayoral race could "energize voters."

I have to say: I am still in the period of dread. It's not that I fear change. God knows, I was looking forward to defeating Daley in February. But I surmise that the city's budget is a horrible mess. And I don't see how any politician is going to get us out of it. (And if s/he did, what would Ben Joravsky write about?) That these politicians think they can shows either incredible courage or incredible naivete. Perhaps both.

I'm likely a campaign manager's nightmare because I don't watch live TV and I don't pay attention to the ads. But I stopped the TiVo to watch Emmanuel's ad tonight during Glee. My reaction: I'm tired of the platitudes already. I love Chicago (just ask The Dad, who'll have to drag me outta here kicking and screaming), but the past few years have opened my eyes to the realities of city politics and dealings. I think Chicago needs to focus its efforts on becoming a world-class city. Forget about losing our grip on a precarious hold. I don't think we can pat ourselves on the back yet, guys.

Throughout the tumultuous spring and early summer of budget crises, education cuts, union troubles, school-related challenges and a surprise visit from Ron Huberman, I believed that the great Chicago machine (which also controls CPS) was obfuscating budget and process from its citizens. At the time, I wanted more transparency and communication about what was going on. I still want that. But now I think one reason that few in official capacity are willing to Tweet as often as Kanye West or Kim Kardashian is that they realize that if they are forthcoming with information, everyone will know that they have no idea what the hell they are doing. That Emmanuel and Moseley-Braun want to take a stab at it reveals their courage.

Despite my current discomfort with lies ahead for Chicago, I'm an unfailing optimist. I am quite sure that my dread will turn to excitement in a couple of weeks after a few rounds of mudslinging between Moseley-Braun and Emmanuel (with a little comedic relief from the Rev. Meeks thrown in). A parent and activist just announced his aldermanic bid for the 39th ward; things are looking up already....

Another post on writing

2010-11-16T23:11:00.002-06:00

The problem with blogging and getting followers and really putting oneself out there is that every post feels like An Article. I can't just write an off-the-cuff diatribe. Even though that is what blogging is supposed to be about. The beauty of self-publishing on the Internet is that you can get your message out fast. The ugly of self-publishing on the Internet is that while bloggers sometimes masquerade as journalists (I have been guilty of this myself), they have even less credibility than journalists. And that reputation is rightfully deserved in many cases. There's a lot of garbage on the Internet, opinion dressed up as fact, live-blogging and recording and sharing in real time--churning out copy and content so fast after the experience--sometimes during the experience that it seems the most followed bloggers can barely enjoy the experience for the need to blast it out to the world.

For the record, this isn't a slam on bloggers, having a following/fan base, or seeking (or achieving) fame and fortune through blogging. After all, as someone remarked about me recently, I am a writer, a blogger, a communicator. I almost feel compelled to share my knowledge and/or analysis with my friends and associates. Email and blogs are the perfect outlet for me to unleash my need to communicate with the world.

However, I struggle with this need for information--reading it, analyzing it, disseminating it. Which is funny because I don't generally watch the news, and glean what's going on in the world from The Dad's Reddit links, education blogs and a once-weekly cruise through The New York Times app or NPR. Or calling my mother, who is as addicted to MSNBC as I am to writing about education, parenting, society norms and my children.

As a writer, I am drawn to the need to share my story, my opinion, my analysis of a situation or event. Or maybe being a writer has nothing to do with it--maybe it's just because I'm opinionated. And have no editorial calendar.

I'm also a big believer in transparency. Perhaps because I try to be transparent. While I recognize the right and importance of privacy in many things, I probably would exercise it less than I do now if I were not contractually obligated to keep a lid on it. But where is the line between transparency and oversharing? And should everyone know what I think as soon as I think it? Is there value in getting information out there as soon as it is known? Or is it better to take a page from Lane Smith's book* and just "shut your big yawp"?

* John, Paul, George & Ben. I highly recommend it. It never fails to delight The Boy, The Girl and The Tot (who's no longer a tot). That particular quote pertains to Ben Franklin and his frequent dispensation of free advice.

On writing

2010-09-18T23:15:00.000-05:00

The Boy is back in school and back to hating the act of writing. Although his fine-motor skills are excellent, he dislikes the mechanics of writing as well as the creative part. As a professional writer, I'm totally horrified that my oldest child is so bothered by writing. But as a professional writer, I completely understand his point of view! Procrastinate, procrastinate, procrastinate, yell, cry, pound the table in frustration... then sit down and begin to writing.

That's kind of how I feel about this blog these days. Its purpose was to record all the fun stuff I did in Chicago with The Boy, The Girl and The Tot (who is no longer a tot). But the days of exploring museums on a daily basis are pretty much over for me. I see a lot of moms with infant-filled strollers and belly bumps in and around where I work, near the Tribune tower; day trips to Lincoln Park Zoo and the Peggy Notebaert, and annoying commuters by schlepping a stroller onto the CTA in rush hour are their domain now.

I've been writing this blog since 2006. I'm not in it for money, fame or a book contract. Although there's often long stretches between posts, I am not ready to give this blog up. I'm pretty sure I still have a lot to say.

Chicago Forward: Education

2010-09-15T23:19:00.005-05:00

Last night, I met both Karen Lewis and Ron Huberman. They were two of five panelists at a discussion on education put on by the Chicago Tribune and PNC Bank. Admittedly, I can be easily impressed by power--or the perception of it. I'm not sure whether Ms. Lewis and Mr. Huberman have real power or give people that perception. I suppose only time (like 10-15 years) will tell. The other panelists were Rev. James Meeks, Harriet Meyer and Sister Mary Paul McCaughey.

The event was the first in a series of four, designed to increase public awareness of and find possible solutions for issues in Chicago, according to the Trib's editor, Gerould Kern. It was an interesting discussion, but I didn't really learn anything new, unfortunately. There was a lot of sparring between Ms. Lewis and Mr. Huberman, and Ms. Meyer reported some interesting facts about early childhood education gaps. I'm permanently annoyed with Roman Catholic* education after The Boy's year at St. Bartholomew. The Rev. Meeks provided comic relief, but no real contribution to the conversation.

And here's where the perception of power comes in.... I realized after a 90-minute discussion that the people in charge don't know the answers either. They have no solutions to the educational mess that is Chicago Public Schools, despite modest gains in the past 20 years (Mr. Huberman called them "substantial," even after admitting that 48 percent of district elementary schools received a district grade of D or below [based on 2008 test data]). I'm not quite ready to give up on CPS, but come on. I felt like I did after reading Sudir Venkatesh's Gangleader for a Day: that was an interesting read, but where's the solution to the problem you've spent 300 pages identifying?

I went to the event with Amy, Wendy and Patricia from the Raise Your Hand coalition. Over 700 people filled the auditorium. It was a Trib Nation event, which Gerould Kern said was the Tribune's attempt to engage people in their city's issues and newspaper. Given the branding, I think it's an attempt to introduce 20somethings to the idea of a newspaper. I don't think it's working, given the age and consumer tastes of the audience last night.

That said, they had a lovely reception afterward, with wine and hors d'oeuvres. The reception is where I met Ms. Lewis (and her husband!) and Mr. Huberman, and a bunch of Burley parents. I don't know if things will be that fancy for every event or if it was for the benefit/pleasure of Gerry Rohr, the president of PNC Bank, and Gary Knell, CEO of Sesame Street Workshop, who were in attendance. But it was not a bad way to spend $10 of an evening.

The next events are Economy in Recovery on November 17, Health Care on January 18 and Philanthropy/Giving Back on March 15.

* I anticipate that this will not be a popular opinion.

I want my two (hundred million) dollars

2010-08-20T14:44:00.001-05:00

Raise Your Hand is not letting the city off on this one. Tell your alderman that you want him or her to vote to give back the TIF surplus this year. Let's stop borrowing against our children's future!

http://www.noto37.org/GiveBackTIF/

Michigan

2010-08-10T23:00:00.000-05:00

My latest escape fantasy involves a little house in the southwest corner of Michigan and plenty of lazy walks, bike rides in the country, organic apples and blueberries, old furniture and beach time. I don't think it's happening in the long-term, but it was fun to dream this weekend during our annual trip to Bridgeman. Our 3-day trip was the perfect mix of beach, friends and food.

I took the day off on Friday, intending to participate in The Boy's and The Girl's planned last-day-of-camp fun (kids v. grown-ups). But when I gave the kids a choice between last-day-of-camp fun and going to Michigan, they chose the Great Lake state.

Friday was our best beach day, with blue skies, hot sun and warm water. The Tot and I, and The Dad and The Boy spent most of the afternoon bobbing up and down with the tide. Then a giant wave smacked me and The Tot, his giant noggin bounced off my chin, and I was done with the beach for the day. Afterward, we went back to the "cottage" (which The Tot invariably referred to as "college," much to my initial confusion) for baths, clean clothes and a brief visit with the cottage owners. We headed up to South Haven for dinner, where we met Natty for dinner at the fabulous Phoenix Street Cafe (there wasn't a wait for a table, let alone an hour-long one at the dark [and oddly famous] Clementine's). Dinner was yummy and I'm a sucker for blueberry cobbler (The Tot ate my a la mode ice cream). Didn't try the infused vodka; did have some cool Michigan reisling. As it turned out, this dinner was the highlight of the trip for The Girl, who spent the evening of Natty's last day with us crying inconsolably.

On Saturday morning, I met my friend Katie at the farmer's market in St. Joseph. She recently edited The Family Guide to Berrien County*, a book that any parent going to Michigan's harbor country should purchase. The book details all sorts of out-of-the-way places and activities for families, including many that I was unable to find last year in my pre-iPhone days. I'm already planning a fall visit so we can go to the Four Flags Apple Festival or St. Joseph's Harvest Festival, which I wouldn't have known about before the book. Katie served as my own personal tour guide to the St. Joe farmer's market, where I picked up 5 pounds of organic blueberries that I'll make pie or cobbler with if I don't eat them all before I can get to it. And some fabulous cookies from the Mennonite bakers. Katie also gave us the history of the St. Joe Carousel, which we all rode twice, accompanied by an old-time and superloud mechanical pipe organ.

After picking up groceries at the Harding's back in Bridgeman, we headed to the beach again on Saturday afternoon. It was much cooler, and the previous evening's storm had churned up the water significantly. The Boy and The Tot and The Dad went in, but The Girl and I stayed on the beach, soaking up the warmth of the sun and doing crossword puzzles (me) and lying in the sand complaining (The Girl). In fact, she complained so much that The Dad dubbed her our family's own sand crab.

I had a brief snooze after de-sanding back at the cottage, while The Girl, The Boy and The Tot watched Pixar shorts on The Dad's laptop. We then had a few Raise Your Hand friends over for a potluck. The Dad grilled out, I poured wine, and The Boy, The Girl and The Tot were in heaven with the three 7-year-old and one 4-year-old boys and one four-year-old girl with whom they could play.

* I can't quite decide if I should tell you that this book was written as a school fundraiser. Given how often I talk about school funding these days, it should come as no surprise to any reader.

The Kids

2010-07-26T14:00:00.002-05:00

Ask The Tot where his mama was on Saturday morning and he’ll proudly tell you, “Education.” He knows that has something to do with school, and that it’s important, but he probably can’t tell you what exactly Mama’s work for education means. I’m not sure I can either, but it feels good to at least learn what the heck is going on.

On Saturday morning, I was down on the south side, at Ariel Academy in Kenwood. Sonia Kwon, Jill Wohl and I bypassed the floods and the Cubs traffic and made it to the humid, slippery auditorium in time to hear Karen Lewis’ rousing speech about CPS, the state of Illinois and the state of education. Lewis reported that the powers that be at CPS are repeating the same, tired schpiel that all people in power repeat when their motives or actions are called into question: Won’t someone please think about the children? Oh, please. Like CPS teachers are in it for the money? Like involved parents’ primary motivation are not their children? Were we all giving up a couple of hours smack-dab in the middle of a summer Saturday for some other reason but the children? As Lewis said, it’s about money and power. Like everything else in Chicago, it seems. Same-old, same-old.

Lewis also said something that struck me as pretty powerful. In 2004, she said, 62% of the CPS budget went to personnel costs. In 2009, that number dropped to 49%. What changed? Why? I wish I could say that I checked her facts against existing data to substantiate her claim, but getting the city to share its “datapoints” is harder than getting a willful toddler to eat smashed peas.

But her ire was not directed only at CPS, but at the state as well. She suggested that we all call our state representatives and senators and tell them that they are late in their payments. “And we’re not even charging you interest.” Good point.

Will someone please think about the children?

2010-07-08T11:03:00.000-05:00

"As if, you know, the kids are really what all these machinations are about." I want to be Ben Joravsky when I grow up.

Work-Life Balance

2010-07-03T22:36:00.002-05:00

In late March, the White House hosted a symposium on workplace flexibility. Of course, I could not watch it live because I was at work, but I did watch the opening session online that evening. (They've since added all the breakout sessions to the blog.) That the White House was even having a public discussion about this stuff is pretty compelling to me.

The work-life question is a popular topic of conversation among my friends and peers, whether our primary-waking-hours job is employment outside of the home or caring for our own children. Truthfully, I know very few people who work full-time or stay at home full-time who are 100% happy with that. SAHMs long for more intellectual stimulation and/or some financial independence. Working moms long for more flexibility and/or time to themselves and/or time with their children.

Back at the White House in March/April, Michelle Obama spoke of how she brought Malia in a stroller to a job interview because she didn't have adequate childcare at the time. That she brought a sleeping toddler to a job interview in the late 1990s is no less shocking to me as is the fact that they gave her the job.

Obviously, Mrs. Obama's interviewers recognized some quality in her that would let her perform well in paid work despite a small child. Was she lucky? Or is that kind of workplace flexibility and work-life balance a common occurrence? In a world where women earn only 70-80% of what their male colleagues earn, I'm fairly confident that Mrs. Obama was lucky, or magnetic, or both.

The 1970s manifesto of equal wages, equal treatment, and fair valuation of housewifery is yet to be realized in 2010. That SAHMs have intrinsic value is somewhat recognized; that their work should have a monetary value is decidedly not. To wit: a 7-year argument I've had with my husband about whether childcare necessarily involves (or should) housecleaning. After all, when modern couples outsource these tasks, they are generally to different service people. While both can be (and often are) mind-numbing, busy-work tasks (and to be fair: so can any job in corporate America), they do require different skill sets.

After nearly a year of full-time work after 6 years of very, very part-time work, I can firmly say that I wish Chicago was a more flexible working town. Although I do know people with flexible working arrangements (some of them even in my company), it seems that most of them paid their dues as full-time workers for a period of time before negotiating their time down to 2/3 or 3/4-time. This would be the difference between reported flexibility arrangements between employers (one half) and employees (one third), as cited in the Work-Life Balance and the Economics of Workplace Flexibility study.

Victory

2010-06-28T12:38:00.000-05:00

This is what can happen when you have a voice.

Breaking the Clique

2010-06-28T09:34:00.000-05:00

I've "heard" that there is a perception among the parents at The Boy's and The Girl's school that the existing parent groups are "exclusive" and "cliquey." I can understand that; after all, the same 20+ people often show up to everything. I am happy and grateful to those volunteers (like myself) who want to be really involved or really informed. But: why aren't more people involved? How can we create a warm and inclusive parent community/culture? How to create more opportunities for involvement? And a confession: I often feel that I am on the outside of the circle.

In talking to other parents at other schools, this feeling of exclusion is common--even parents like myself who are what my friend Ami would call Super Volunteers. Last week, during a community-building session at Nettelhorst's CPS Symposium, one parent, Patricia O'Keefe of Friends of Alcott, shared what she had done to "break the clique" at Alcott, creating a community culture that really, truly values parent volunteers. It's simple, really, but so smart:

Everyone who wants to be a room parent, can be a room parent.

I know what you're thinking: well, how does that work? Basically, at Alcott, they broke up all the tasks associated with classroom activities and made it more manageable for everyone to get involved:

#1 Teacher Contact. This person fulfills the normally associated duties of room parent, meeting with the teacher as-needed, assessing classroom needs, and communicating with the teacher and the rest of the room parents about what is needed. Teacher preference goes.

#2 Communications. This person does everything associated with communications: putting together a class list, helping with the directory, sending out emails to parents, etc. Some teachers at Alcott even have the communications room parent help or do their weekly newsletter.

#3 Social Butterfly. This person coordinates social time for kids, parents, moms, dads, etc. outside of the classroom: pizza parties, MNO, DNO, parent socials, etc.

#4 Volunteers. This person coordinates volunteers needed for classroom events, putting together a schedule, getting the information on classroom volunteers from the teacher contact, etc.

#5 LSC/PTA/FO Contact. This person is the liaison between the classroom and these organizations. If a classroom project needs to be done for an auction or other event, this is the person who works it out.

#6+ Ad Hoc Time. This person or people may have 4 hours/week or 1/2 an hour a year to support the classroom. They'll work with the classroom volunteers person to make sure that the teacher has all of her bases covered in and outside of the classroom, lending a hand here and there as needed.

Viral Marketing: It Works!

2010-06-24T08:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I read CPSObsessed for the first time in awhile. I found this. Save one sentence in the middle (long-term solutions), I wrote the text and blasted it out last week via email to my Chicago-based email lists. Although I am not a marketer, I love it when the viral marketing machine works.

Hearing Ron Huberman

2010-06-20T23:56:00.004-05:00

As The Dad says, I have become my own version of CPS-obsessed these days. I'm generally less interested in the aggregate as how things affect my own children's school, but the education budget crisis (called by Sara Feigenholtz as the worst she's seen in 20-30 years in state government [she started working for John Cullerton in 1982]) has made me re-examine that. And in the past three or four months, as the budget crisis has caused me to become re-engaged in the political process, I've become more interested in how we can work together to improve the system.

In April, I became involved with the Raise Your Hand coalition. I am seriously in awe at the power and dedication of the men and women spearheading this effort. They are committed city-dwellers, passionate activists, and deeply networked. They ask the hard questions, and are not afraid to push the envelope to varying degrees.

Over the past six to nine months, since my friend Ami asked me to attend a “Friends of CPS” meeting and take notes on her behalf, I've become more interested in what is happening at other schools. Although my children's school is in a unique position (really!) in terms of size, funding, seed money, history, etc., we still have so much to learn in terms of not only funding, but community-building.

It is because of this that I gave up my wedding anniversary, first Saturday of summer vacation, to spend 8 hours sweating in an elementary school (though admittedly fabulous) auditorium and learning parent-led school improvement best practices at the CPS Symposium.

It was such an interesting day. I walked away energized and ready to tackle some stuff. The reality is that it's summer and my affiliated group has no elected leadership, but I will get to that later. For now, I'd like to share what would probably be most interesting to the casual reader interested in CPS:

Ron Huberman made a special appearance, showing up to speak to the crowd and take questions from the audience (note: if you are sitting in the middle of the row, you won't get the mic). At this point, I am going to report directly from my notes, without my own analysis of Ron Huberman's comments. He first said that his office studied “great” schools the world over to determine what they have in common

1. A great leader.
Without a great leader, you don't have a great school. To that end, CPS will “exit” (his term) 150 principals this year. He said that these were “tough decisions.”

2. Great teachers.
In Chicago, great principals hire great teachers. Great teachers are engaged with their students. In the context of this point, he also said that his office is planning to institute a teacher evaluation process based partially on principal review. He noted that they are "empowering" principals to evaluate teachers, and that they want to make the process as transparent as possible.

3. Data for analysis.
Great schools report and measure data to ask questions: are kids learning? Are they learning what we want them to learn? If not, why not? Is it the teacher? Is it a professional development issue? Is it the curriculum? He noted that some great schools in Chicago already practice this data measurement and analysis, but CPS plans to implement this method district-wide next year. He also said that states are under pressure from the federal government to show improvement every year, and intimated that the way they do that in Illinois is to change the ISAT. He wants CPS to have its own assessments outside of the ISATs.

4. Meaningful parent involvement.
He said that they found that even when schools have the first three, they will not become truly great, their improvement will flatline, if they do not have a committed and involved parent community. He suggested that parents can achieve that in a few simple ways: physically taking your child to school in the morning when you can, showing up to school on report-card pick-up day, knowing your child's teacher by name and giving him/her your number and asking that s/he calls you when/if there is a problem. He did say that there were really two things surrounding this, but he never got back to the second point.

After he reviewed what makes schools great, he addressed the budget issue, saying that CPS is “fundamentally a state-funded agency.” CPS does not have a budget yet. They've delayed releasing it in the hope that the state legislature will reconvene to pass a budget. They have a “best case” and “worst case” scenario that they've been considering. He said that every day, it's literally a white board exercise trying to figure out the budget. In the “best case” scenario, there will be a $427 million budget deficit. In this scenario, they'll restore full-day K, junior varsity sports, and “lower” class sizes. However, they have no idea when they'll get a budget from the state, and they may have to pick an arbitrary number upon which to base their budget for FY11.

Historically speaking, Huberman said, when the state of Illinois said it would fund something, they'd do it. But Illinois has stopped paying its bills. They owe CPS ½ billion dollars....which is why CPS (got permission to) took out an $800 million line of credit last week.

What has Huberman done to fix the budget? He said he's laid off 1,000 classroom positions, cut $165 million in contracts, depleted CPS's cash reserves, cut capital projects, and reduced the number of administrators – all to preserve spending at schools. Also, non-union staff and administrators have taken furlough days that equate to a 6% pay cut. They've made non-school based cuts across the system.

Sonia Kwon and Jill Wohl from the Raise Your Hand coalition asked him questions about what the city is going to fix the budget deficit, mentioning TIFs. Huberman said that the mayor has raised taxes to the cap allowed every year that he has been able to do so, but it creates a massive inequity in funding when the state doesn't fund what it is supposed to fund. He said that TIF funds have actually funded a couple of schools on the northwest side and funded capital projects at schools that would otherwise not be possible without CPS bonding off its operating budget.

He also took questions about general school process issues, specifically the changed admissions policy for magnets and selective enrollment schools, and selective enrollment schools. He said that there is no plan to de-magnetize the magnets. They did go back to 5% principal discretion at the SE schools, but not at the magnets. The reason for this is that SE schools have objective criteria against which they can measure candidates, but magnets don't have any such criteria: they are a pure lottery. He said that what is the on the table now is not the existence of magnets or SE schools, but the enrollment process.

Hacking the politics

2010-06-16T15:51:00.002-05:00

On 6/15, the Chicago Board of Education held an emergency meeting and voted 7-0 to give Ron Huberman the power to raise class sizes to 35, secure $800 million in credit, and fire tenured teachers. Jonathan Goldman of the Raise Your Hand coalition addressed the board. Illinois constituents, driven largely by CPS parents, sent over 150,000 emails to legislators to reduce state education budget cuts by hundreds of millions; why is CPS still talking about classrooms with 35 kids?

CPS still has a $275 million hole in the FY 2011 CPS budget. How to plug it in ways that don't mean 35 kids in a classroom? The Raise Your Hand coalition believes that the answer lies in the city's TIF program, which diverts millions of property-tax dollars away from schools and into economic development. Through this petition (http://ilraiseyourhand.org/petition-to-daley), the Raise Your Hand coalition is asking Mayor Daley to reform the TIF program and restore sustainable property-tax based funding to schools (and parks and other city services) across the city of Chicago. Won't you join us? Here’s how you can help:

1. Attend the next rally at City Hall – Thursday June 17th @ 10:30 AM
2. Sign the online petition (see above link), and/or
3. Print the same petition in hard copy and collect signatures

Additional reading on 6/15 Board of Education meeting:
http://www.suntimes.com/news/education/2397688,CST-NWS-skul16.article
http://www.suntimes.com/news/education/2395198,chicago-public-schools-class-size-061510.article
http://tinyurl.com/2eokkbp (WBEZ coverage)
http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local-beat/Teachers-Protest-Proposed-Board-Cuts-96366519.html
http://www.catalyst-chicago.org/notebook/index.php/entry/723/Board_gives_Huberman_power_to_increase_class_sizes
http://progressillinois.com/posts/content/2010/06/16/chicago-teachers-increasingly-complaining-about-tif

Additional reading on TIF:
http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/the-chicago-reader-tif-archive/Content?oid=1180567
http://www.cityofchicago.org/city/en/depts/dcd/supp_info/tax_increment_financingprogram.html

Free for a Week Update

2010-06-02T09:57:00.000-05:00

A few years ago, I created this schedule of things to do that were free or low-cost for each day of the week. Some things have changed, and I know my schedule certainly has, but if I ever get a week off, it might be good to take my children on outings that do not involve IKEA, Target, or playdates.

Monday - 10 a.m. Morning Glory Mondays @ Garfield Park Conservatory (scroll down)
Tuesday - Farmers Market @ Lincoln Square
Wednesday - 10 a.m. Storytime @ Women and Children First Bookstore
Thursday - Free Day @ Peggy Notebeart Museum
Friday - 11 a.m. Storytime with Nili @ The Book Cellar

1883

2010-06-01T22:49:00.000-05:00

Today, I took a field trip with The Boy's class to the Naper Settlement. Despite the fact that Grandma & Grandpa Naperville have lived in Illinois's second largest city for 20+ years (and I've been married to their son for 11 of them), I'd never been to Naper Settlement before today.

A walking history museum, Naper Settlement is sited on what is left of George Martin's expansive 1883 acreage. It's like Illinois's version of Colonial Williamsburg, but smaller and forward in time by about a century. We started the tour with the Martin Mitchell house, a circa 1883 brick-and-limestone building described to our little group as "the smart house of 1890." I learned a few interesting little tidbits in our 4-hour ramble around the grounds, including the fact that the Spanish silver dollar was once the standard monetary increment and two-bits is actually 1/8th of said coin (or 12 1/2 cents). Grandma Naperville met us there, and we had a nice visit with her as well as with the other chaperones in The Boy's class. The kids were well-behaved and seemed to have a great time.

Hoosiers

2010-05-31T23:01:00.001-05:00

The Dad, The Boy, The Girl, The Tot and I went to visit Super Grandpa (as The Boy calls him) in Indiana this weekend. Super Grandpa is a nearly lifelong (save his Army time and a stint as a United tech at Midway in the 40s) resident of Syracuse, Indiana (winter population: about 3000). He lives on a channel just off Lake Syracuse (and Lake Wawasee), has a wood workshop in his cavernous garage, and likes to fish off his pontoon boat. He has led a very long, very interesting life (so far). So for the 3-day weekend, along with Grandma & Grandpa Naperville, we went to visit him.

Grandpa Naperville docks a speedboat at Super Grandpa's property, so we spent much of our time going "full-speed ahead" (says The Tot) around Lake Syracuse. We also took out Big Mable and I spent several hours bumping behind the boat in the wake with (alternately) The Boy, The Girl, and The Dad. The weather was great and the water temperature was amazingly warm for Memorial Day weekend. We also got custard and ice cream at Joe's, spent one very long and uncomfortable night with all 5 of us in the hotel room, spent one night with just The Tot with his parents in the hotel room, which was kind of fun, watched The Boy fish with Grandpa Naperville, and took a sunset cruise along Lake Wawasee with Super Grandpa.

Oh, and I almost forgot: The Tot almost drowned himself in the canal on Saturday. Super Grandpa has a large lot with a large back deck, an expanse of green grass, and then a 1' wide concrete retaining wall before the channel. The Tot was drawn to that retaining wall like bees to pollen. Nothing we did or said could deter him from playing on the wall. And then he went in. Fortunately, The Dad was right there when it happened, so he leaped in after him, scraping his knee on the motor of the speedboat in the process. The Tot and The Dad were both dripping wet and screaming, but fortunately, both were fine afterward. The Tot stayed away from the retaining wall after that. The Dad's iPhone was totaled by the dip in the channel, but an iPhone, while expensive, is replaceable. Our youngest son is not.

We woke up this morning to overcast skies and arrived at Super Grandpa's house from the hotel just before it started to pour, so we waited out the worst of the storm before getting on the road.

National Train Day

2010-05-15T00:04:00.000-05:00

Dreamed up by Amtrak, presumably to revitalize a dying industry/mode of transportation, National Train Day was an unexpected adventure for The Dad, The Boy, The Girl, The Tot and me last weekend. The marketing materials for the event weren't very robust, leaving us no idea what we'd find on Saturday afternoon at Union Station. Initially, we were overwhelmed by the crowds milling about the central hall, but managed to find some fun along the rails. We got "passports" and got punches at various places. The Tot was transfixed by an infinitesimal Lionel model track with both a very long Amtrak train and a short Thomas train. The highlight for me was walking through several CNR, Illinois Central, and private rail cars. I also learned that there is a rails/national parks program and now I want to go on a rail tour to a national park!

No to 37

2010-05-03T22:36:00.000-05:00

How many kids is too many in a classroom? How many can one teacher handle? Shouldn't the focus of a teacher's attention be on teaching his or her students over merely handling them?

If we thought the threat to PFA last year was bad, this is a million times worse. Thanks to Blago, and before him George Ryan and Jim Edgar, the Illinois budget is a mess. And if our politicians don't approve a new budget that keeps education funding at its current level before Friday, we are going to be in trouble.

But: Illinoisians are speaking up and speaking out via NOto37.org. CPS parents are speaking up via the Raise Your Hand coalition.

High School

2010-04-12T22:37:00.000-05:00

As I reached the train platform this morning, I noticed a high school girl wearing sweatpants and a backpack who had just exited the train and was walking down, presumably to go to school. I assume that she was on her way to nearby Schurz High School. In about 6 years, high school for The Boy will be on our minds. It's really not that far away. If schools get better by parent/community involvement and marketing power, maybe it's time to get involved in the local high schools in the hopes that by the time my 7-year-old is ready for them, they'll be worth attending?

However, high school is still a daunting thought to me. First, there are only a handful of selective enrollment high schools in the city, which means that competition is fierce. One group, the North Side High School Initiative, is trying to start the process to improve options at the high school level. Unfortunately, this group is from/focused on wards 32, 42, 46 and 47; I'm in ward 39.

Second, and slightly more upsetting, is the issue of school violence at the high school level. Last week, I attended the League of Women Voters' lunch talk on school violence in CPS. Unfortunately, I missed the first 5 and the last 20 minutes of the presentation because I had to work, and missed the speaker's name. However, he was an administrator with Chicago Public Schools and presented data from a September 2009 PowerPoint deck on school violence. While the deck did present some good information (80% of school violence takes place in 38 schools, for example), the presenter had taken the CPS spin class, and could/would not give me specific answers to some of my questions (like the names of the 38 schools).

I'm committed to CPS through 8th grade, but will we be city-dwellers after 2017? It has nothing to do with street cred; I'm not sure I can hack the politics of everything.

Too Good to Be Real

2010-04-10T21:04:00.000-05:00

That's how The Girl described her Snookelfritz sweet mint ice cream. I would describe it as too rich for my milk-intolerant self (the things we do as parents...stopped drinking milk when The Tot was a babe and haven't been able to tolerate much of it since), but: if you love milk, ice cream, and fresh ingredients, I highly recommend that you try it. We found Snookelfritz and lots of other organic goodies (farm eggs! fresh cream! a giant pretzel bun! arugula!) at the April Green City Market at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum, where The Girl and I began our long Saturday morning Mama-The Girl playdate. (Yes, my five-year-old is weird: her idea of a good time is helping me at the grocery store, do the laundry, etc. I hope as her abilities grow, she'll start thinking that a mother's chores include going to work as well.)

Anyway, we went to the Green City Market. For some reason, I thought it was outside and found primo parking just off North Avenue. We ended up walking all the way up to the butterfly museum and back, passing tons of joggers and families of three pushing strollers. It was a long walk for me, let alone a not-quite 5-year-old with short legs. It was a beautiful day, but quite windy. We stopped at Starbucks for some iced tea on the long walk back. The side trip sparked a conversation about the origin of the name Starbuck. The Girl's theory is that it's called Starbucks because you can get drinks for a buck there.

By the time we returned to the car, we were both pretty tired, but still had to go to Trader Joe's to do the bulk of our food shopping. A man about my father's age heard our conversation and was chuckling at the girl's reasoning for what went in my cart versus hers. I'm glad that we are so amusing, but it was actually quite refreshing to run errands with just one fairly helpful little person, in the city on a gorgeous spring day.

Letters Are Out

2010-03-26T20:28:00.000-05:00

All over Chicago, mailboxes are aflutter, hearts atwitter: CPS elementary acceptance letters are out. In 2007, I applied to almost 30 schools for The Boy's entry into kindergarten. He was waitlisted at several, and got into none. He eventually got into Disney II. Oh, how different the world of CPS is just two years later.

The most important change in CPS is not the addition of Disney II Magnet, not the departure of Arne Duncan for the federal Department of Education, and not his replacement in the form of Ron Huberman. It's the fact that the consent decree--and its related race-based selection system--has been turned on its head, leaving CPS to adopt a new admissions policy that relies on socioeconomic factors.

So I applied to only Disney II for The Girl, who gained admittance as a sibling of a current student. I also submitted a GEAPs application for her and ranked four regional gifted center (RGC) schools and two classical schools. She scored high enough on the gifted test to get into Coonley, although her 121 score for the classical test was too low for Tier-4 admittance into any of the classical schools.

Although Coonley is ranked well, I am confident that The Girl will receive a superior education from Disney II. And, if all of the ifs align (if there is a preschool-for-all next year, if The Tot gets in, if he gets into the morning session, if the siblings policy holds), I'm confident that The Tot will have a great education at Disney II as well.

Wedding, San Francisco, Mixed Emotions

2010-03-22T07:28:00.002-05:00

I'm writing this from the United lounge at SFO, midway through the last leg of my trip here to witness and celebrate the marriage of one of my oldest friends, Emily. While the average age of brides is now something like 29, Emily is in her mid-30s, and I was 25 on my wedding day. It seems odd to me that Emily is now crazily, happily married, a wife, and everyone hopes, will one day sooner rather than later become a mother. Similarly, looking at my own life from the perspective of my college friends, most of whom are single, it seems crazy that I have been married nearly 11 years, with three kids. It is the life I want.

That's why I am surprised how much I enjoyed shedding my skin of wife, mother, writer, caretaker, laundress, and baker to resume a life that I'd be miserable in now: tooling around San Francisco with my single, college friends, drinking too much, telling and retelling stories of past nights of drinking, drama, relationships, work, and life, laughing racously. I've never lived the single life in San Francisco, but the City is irrevocably tied my childless former self. I've read M. Sasek's book This Is San Francisco to my children a million times and while part of me wants to take The Boy to see the sea lions on the rocks, the up the hills and down the hills, part of me also wants to keep San Francisco to myself: quiet corner cafes with outdoor seating and a glass of wine shared with friends, hauling butt up and down the hills, never really going to museums, and fresh flowers everywhere, all the time.

I re-explored the City yesterday, ending the day at the Buena Vista Cafe for Irish coffees at sunset. As the shadows fell against the Argonaut Hotel, drawing me closer to now, I was hit by melancholy. I spent my first ever night in San Francisco at the Buena Vista after moving to the Bay Area in 1998. I spent my last ever night as a SF resident at the Buena Vista before leaving in 2002. And plenty of nights in between, sitting at the bar watching delicate glass cups thick with creamy foam come out on trays, the plate glass windows facing the bay fogging up from the heat inside. It is so tied up with my memories of San Francisco that if you told me tomorrow that only tourists go there, I wouldn't care.

San Francisco: I'm glad I knew you when.

My plane is boarding now, so I'm going to say good-bye to SF, have a nap on the plane and wake up in Chicago, ready to see my babies, my husband, embrace the snow-rain-cold that is a Chicago spring. I'm ready to go home.

Suessical

2010-03-02T10:50:00.000-06:00

It's Dr. Suess's birthday! You know, if I had thought about it when I came up with this blog, I could have used Dr. Suess characters as monikers for The Boy, The Girl, The Tot, and The Dad. The Dad is a huge fan of Dr. Suess, specifically The Lorax. We have two copies of The Lorax in the Chicago Mama household, including The Dad's original copy and one I bought at a garage sale for the kids. I'm constantly quoting Dr. Suess in my life, which translates well to most active parents, but causes your average 20-something to react with perplexity.

The Dad would be the Lorax and I'd probably be the Onceler (not that I want to be a Republican). The Boy would be a Brown Bar-ba-loot, The Girl would be a Swanee Swan, and The Tot would be a Humming-Fish.

While The Dad's favorite Dr. Suess story is The Lorax, I am not sure what is mine. When I was a kid, it was the story of Bartholomew Cubbins. As an adult, I enjoy reading many of the stories to my children, although my favorite is probably Red Fish, Blue Fish, One Fish, Two Fish. What about you? What is your favorite Dr. Suess story?

Must Write More

2010-02-17T23:12:00.001-06:00

And so it has happened without any real warning, without an official moment to mark the passage: I have become boring. I started this blog as part creative outlet and part desire to record all the fun things I did with my children in the city of Chicago. But as my children have aged and my life has changed, I have less and less to say that fits in with my original objective.

Since I began blogging, the "scene" of kid-friendly Chicago has exploded. There's Windy City Tot to aggregate weekly tot-friendly activities. TimeOut Chicago Kids brings us a whole magazine full of kid-friendly activities and restaurant reviews each monthly (and weekly emails). And of course, there's the old standby of Chicago Parent. The Chicago momlogging world is pretty full as well, although I only really know of Momtrolfreak and Sassafrass, both of whom are prolific writers with more to say than I even think in a day. I cannot possibly keep up. I work full-time, volunteer, and have three kids and a husband.

And yet, this blog is such a great record of my children's early childhood experiences and of my own new-motherhood. I cannot bear to give it up for those reasons alone. My posts may be sporadic, but I hope you'll keep reading.

To Mecca

2010-02-15T20:18:00.003-06:00

Or so I'd refer to the experience that is the "new" Whole Foods in Lincoln Park. We needed groceries, dinner and to leave the house yesterday, hence the 5 p.m. trek to one of the busiest stores on a Sunday evening.

We managed to get a parking spot on the third floor next to a giant snowbank. The Boy's fear of heights is contagious, affecting The Girl on this trip. The Dad and The Boy took the escalators while The Girl, The Tot and I waited forever for the single elevator, while DINKs in black Northface jackets gave us the stink eye as they hurried past with their gourmet cheeses and bouquets of freshcut flowers (in a single brown paper bag).

We headed straight for the Riverview lunch counter for Whole Foods' take on the Woolworth counters of old: burgers, fries, dogs, shakes and rootbeer floats. The Dad, The Boy and I ordered cheeseburgers, which reminded me of In & Out - right down to the iceberg lettuce on the freshly baked buns. The Girl had a grilled cheese and The Tot nibbled fries and sucked down his dad's vanilla malt. Not bad for $30 -- far less than a similar meal at Johnny Rockets.

After dinner, we got our shopping done as quickly as was possible with 3 kids and the St. Valentine's Day gourmet foodie/yuppie crowd.

CPS Obsessed

2010-01-18T09:16:00.001-06:00

Unlike this lady, I'm not really obsessed with CPS in general -- just with what's going in with my children's school, and how the wider CPS policy and culture, and indeed, wider Education news and policy, affect it. So it was with great interest that I read yesterday's Chicago Tribune front-page article on the early success (or not, as it turns out) of the Renaissance 2010 schools.

For those of you who don't know, Renaissance 2010 (and its main funding organization, the Renaissance Schools Fund) came out of the civic committee of the Chicago Commercial Club and Mayor Daley. It is a plan to turn around Chicago's failing educational system by replicating existing successful schools within CPS. Disney II is a modified replication of the Walt Disney Magnet School. Walt Disney Magnet School opened in 1972 (I believe), the first magnet school in the city of Chicago.

Parents of children at CPS (at least all the ones I know and talk to) are already in a tailspin after the Consent Decree was overturned in September and the new magnet/siblings-admission policy. Can any good come out of the Trib's indictment of the Ren10 schools? What do you think of the news?

These Are Days

2010-01-17T22:46:00.000-06:00

Recently, a high school friend wrote that the best songs are the ones that you continue to listen to in the car after arriving at your destination (instead of turning the engine off and getting out immediately when you arrive). I had one of those moments this afternoon on my way to Lowe's to pick up polycrylic gloss and a new toilet. 10,000 Maniacs' These Are Days was playing on XRT; I cranked up the volume, sang at the top of my lungs, and simply, enjoyed it. It was the song that played at my wedding. And it's the song that sums up my life now: content with my children, my husband, my friends, my job, my house, my neighborhood. Things are good for me ~~right now~~ and I don't recognize or verbalize it often enough.

This morning, Grandma and Grandpa Naperville took The Boy to Legoland in honor of his birthday next week. And I took The Girl and The Tot on an outing to the Shedd Aquarium. (The Dad slept in and watched football.) I hadn't been to the Aquarium since they updated the Oceanarium, although the kids have been a few times with Natty.

Note to self: do not go to the Shedd during a cold winter weekend. Our visit today was kind of a mixed-bag. I have been very spoiled by years of going to museums on weekdays, so the crowds there really threw me. At 9:45 a.m., I was able to park along Solidarity Drive at a LAZ meter, which broke after I dumped about $4 worth of quarters in it. But even at 9:45 a.m., the line was out-the-door to buy tickets at the accessible-stroller entrance, and we had to wait in line even to get our member wristbands.

We headed pretty much immediately to the Oceanarium to catch the 10:30 Fantasea show. Wow! That is really a show. No cute dolphin tricks to an Enya soundtrack. This show is a production. Imaginary characters, lights, an Oceanarium-wide roller screen - wow! I can't want to see it. They had technical difficulties about 1/3 of the way into the show, so they rolled back to a showcase of the animals talents with the trainers. Afterward, we went down to the new underwater play area, where The Tot happily moved rubber shells from one freezing-cold "tide pool" to another for about 20 minutes.

Although I had brought snacks with us, it was now after 11 a.m. and The Girl was cranky, so I gave it up and got lunch at the new-and-improved Bubblenet food court (smaller food area, larger and airier eating area): kids' mac & cheese plate for The Tot and kids' chicken fingers plate for The Girl, a hummus-and-veggie wrap (and coffee!) for me, and chocolate-milk for both kids. Total with our membership discount: $21.

After lunch, The Tot was not to be deterred: he wanted to see the sharks! So we headed back over to the aquarium to the Underwater Reef, the exhibit that features coral, stingray, and sharks. We spent a good bit of time sitting on the floor in front of the tank glass, watching the fish and again watching the sharks. We also oogled the garden eels for awhile. The Tot was scared of the faux tides in the entrance.

The Girl complained all the way back to the car that she was too hot (earlier, it had been too cold). Our trip back home was just short enough that she didn't fall asleep, but she really needed to do so.

PFA Redux

2010-01-16T22:47:00.000-06:00

I sighed in relief in August, when Springfield's budgetary wrangling saved PFA. But the question remains: what will happen to PFA next year and beyond?

Modern Mediterranean

2010-01-15T23:46:00.000-06:00

The Girl started swimming lessons at Independence Park last week. The time -- 6 p.m. -- is rather poor for a group of 3-5-year-olds, but I initially thought it was a parent-and-kid class and it was the only time that I knew could get in the pool with her. As it turns out, it's an unaccompanied-by-parent class. OK by me. The last thing I really want to do in January after a long workday and a long workweek is put on a bathing suit and get in a pool.

But today was lesson #2. So we made a mama-Girl playdate out of it. After her lesson, we headed out in search of food. The original plan was to eat at Target, where we needed to run an errand, but since The Dad took The Girl to McDonald's for lunch, I thought we had eaten enough crap for the day. Instead, I took her to Zebda, a new mostly-carryout deli that has opened not far from our house.

We've ordered Zebda a few times -- twice for carryout and once, The Dad and I took The Tot there to eat-in. I've tried three different dishes on the menu and they've all been good. I usually find a restaurant, find what I like on the menu, and then order it every time. In the case of Zebda, it's all been so good, I want to keep trying stuff! Tonight, I had the grilled chicken panini ($6) and The Girl had the Gnocchi ($11). Both were fabulous. We also met the chef, Katie Garcia, who happened to be there. While I know there is some advantage to meeting the chef, I could think of nothing great to say except, "I'm glad you opened. And I didn't know you had cookies!" The Girl and I also got some gorgeous cookies to take home -- a round thing soaked in orange blossom scent and decorated with a white fondant flower dipped in pink sparkly sanding sugar, and a coconut petit-four dipped in white icing and decorated with blue dragees. We ate them after our trip to Target, but they'd be perfect with coffee.

The Mall

2010-01-10T23:19:00.000-06:00

Today, I dragged The Dad to the mall. I do so only once each year or so, but it's still torturous for all involved. He was pretty good this year, despite a tight turnaround for lunch before our noon studio time at Flash! (and the only reason he'll consent to go to the mall at all). I stood in line to order at Corner Bakery (pesto cavatappi split four ways among me and the kids, and a turkey panini for The Dad) while The Dad took The Tot and The Girl to run off some energy in the center treehouse.

Our photo shoot went really well, with individual shots of The Boy (who photographs really well), The Girl (who usually doesn't), and The Tot (who also photographs well), as well as the three kids together, and some family shots. I hate how I photograph, but the point of this exercise is to capture our family on film. After we were done shooting, we ran some errands around the mall to pass the time: the Hanna store to make a return and visit a friend, the Lego store to exchange The Boy's Y-Wing Starfighter that was missing parts, and Galt Toys in an attempt to appease The Tot, who heard "Northbrook Court" and assumed, "Hobby USA next to Nickel City."

When we got back to Flash! to look over our photos and make our selections, The Tot was very upset that we weren't going for another photo shoot. The photographer (Sam) took a couple off-the-cuff shots of him just to make him happy, which I appreciated. It was past naptime and The Tot was crabby. He, and both of his siblings, fell asleep on the car ride home.

Organic Mecca

2010-01-10T22:33:00.001-06:00

Yesterday, The Girl had a birthday party to attend at Fantasy Kingdom in Lincoln Park. The party was drop-off optional, so I took advantage of The Girl's being completely absorbed in playing with her little friends to head to the not-so-new-anymore Whole Foods in Lincoln Park with Beth and Jenna, whose daughters were also at the party.

Truthfully, I was more interested in talking to my friends about what's going on in their lives, school news, classroom gossip, and other bits, than I was in gaping at the third largest Whole Foods in the world (Austin and London are #1 and #2, respectively). I was pretty impressed, however, with the electronic shelf price tags, the macaroon bar, and just the sheer amount of organic food. Seriously, I had no clue that there were so many processed "natural" foods. I'd like to take The Boy, The Girl, and The Tot back to the diner for nitrate-free corn-dogs and organic milkshakes.

Amnesia

2010-01-03T23:08:00.000-06:00

Apparently, my memory is really short, because I thought it would be fun to book an overnight at Coco Key over the break. Unfortunately, Coco Key closed on December 28th, and called me on December 23rd to tell me that my booked-in-November reservation was canceled because they closed the hotel. So after some scrambling, I booked a spot at the Mayan Adventures indoor water park at the Holiday Inn in Elmhurst, where we spent New Year's Day.

We had an OK time. The Tot took a long time to warm up to the pools, but eventually discovered that he liked the hot tub and splashing in the sports pools. The Girl loved floating down the lazy river (which was mercifully free of random water sprays). The Boy liked a lot of different things. And The Dad and I both enjoyed going down the tube slide. We ran into one of The Boy's classmates and her family on Friday, which was a nice surprise.

Cookies!

2009-12-19T22:18:00.000-06:00

The second annual Chicago Mama cookie-decorating party was this afternoon. Because we know so many little kids and have such a small house, I had to keep the number of invitees down. A few people could not make it, so we ended up with 11 little munchkins (including The Girl, The Boy, and The Tot) to decorate homemade sugar cookies with brightly colored royal icing and sprinkles, non-pareils, and more.

Here's the calm before the storm:

I gave each child a holiday-themed tin, marked with his/her name, and pre-filled with 1/2 dozen sugar cookies. Note for next year: 1 dozen! Each child got to decorate his/her cookies and/or eat them.

As everyone arrived, they split off into groups to play. The girls and The Girl got all dolled up from our dress-up bin, wearing fancy dresses + a pair of wings each. Some of them, like The Girl, kept this get-up on while they decorated cookies:

Afterwards, the boys went upstairs to play Lego and the girls and the tots stayed downstairs to watch 1969's Frosty the Snowman:

For my part, I got to drink spiked coffee and chit-chat with the moms about school, books, Boden, and other topics of interest.

Queuing Up

2009-12-17T22:14:00.007-06:00

From Blogger Photos

Yesterday, I had a completely new parenting experience: queuing up to get good seats at The Boy's and The Girl's holiday concert/show at school. The photo above shows the line stretching around the corner as we eager parents waited for 1/2 an hour or more in the 6-degree weather for a seat in the gymatorium. I don't think I've ever waited in such conditions for anything, having been blissfully unaware of the music scene until well into my college years, at which time ticket-by-phone was available.

But: Elfis and the Sleigh Riders was well-worth the wait. My space in line gave me a seat in the third row, so I could see everyone fairly well. The Boy had a tiny speaking part, and both The Girl and The Boy sang one or more of the 5 songs in the set. It was very cute.

I took the day off of work to see the show, but I also got to have coffee with my friend Becky in the morning and take a long nap in the afternoon. The Girl was wiped from the show, so we all settled in for a long afternoon nap.

Two for Tea

2009-12-10T22:58:00.001-06:00

When I was a child, my family's get-dressed-up-during-the-holidays event was a trip to the Walnut Room in Marshall Field's. For my children, it may very well be tea at the Peninsula. I took The Girl there on Sunday for our first fancy-schmancy mama-girl playdate. I have been to the Peninsula a few times with friends and there have always been groups of fancily-clad little girls with their American Girl dolls, but until ChicagoParent came out with its list of holiday tea spots, I knew that I had to take The Girl. You can see us in the photo to the left. We were terribly overdressed, even for The Lobby/Avenues restaurant at the Peninsula, but I attribute that to the gradual casualing of America. I made reservations before Thanksgiving, but they were not able to take us until 5:30 p.m. on a Sunday. I was a bit disappointed, because when we arrived, the maitre d' took us into Avenues, which was stuffier and also emptier than The Lobby. They reassured it me that it was just as nice as The Lobby. And the service was good, as was the food, but it was just not as festive as The Lobby, with its two-story windows and giant Christmas tree, was. Oh well. Better luck next time.

For her part, The Girl was a dream. She was perfectly mannered, nicely dressed, and excited to be there. She drank tea--not the proffered hot cocoa--black, without sugar. The older couple dining next to us found her charming and cute. They kept asking me how old she was, etc. I told her that in England, they have "tea" for dinner, which she seemed to find interesting. We were both hungry, and enjoyed our little meals. The Girl ate most of her kids' tea:

From Blogger Photos

And part of mine as well. She did not like the lemon curd or the cold salmon, but she liked the curried egg salad on pumpernickel and some of the chocolate desserts. It was definitely a splurge--$18 for kids' tea, $38 for adult tea, plus $23 in valet parking, but I consider it part of The Girl's Christmas present, and it was pretty fun.

When Blogging and Real Life Collide

2009-12-09T23:19:00.000-06:00

Today, as I was resting on a giant leather sofa at the Starbucks closest to my office on a mid-afternoon caffeine run, I looked over and there was a cute blond toddler in a red Bumbleride screaming his head off. I laughed--not because I was taunting the child or teasing his parent, but because I have so been there. And then his mother popped up and I smiled at her in that way that mothers who have survived toddlerhood will recognize as the secret-club handshake of mothers...and realized that she is the genius behind Big City Fuzz and Big City Suds. Cool. Now I want some lemongrass-scented soap and recycled wool mittens.

Santa, Baby

2009-12-08T22:03:00.002-06:00

The Boy's homework project for this month is to write a short chapter book all about his family holiday traditions. It can be any holiday, but given The Dad's and my own respective Roman Catholic/Episcopal upbringing, we are lapsed Christians who observe the secular Christmas.

One of our holiday traditions happened last week: the Santa breakfast at Morton Arboretum with Grandma & Grandpa Naperville. We have been doing some version of this since The Boy was two. First at Marshall Fields with his cousins and, once they aged out of the breakfast and toward symphony dress-up events, at the Morton Aboreteum. As The Girl and The Tot tot were born, they came too.

From Blogger Photos

And they put on a nice event for the breakfast at the Arb: they close the Gingko Cafe and have Mrs. Claus visit tables of kids and grandparents--some dressed to the 9s, some wering jeans and Santa sweaters--while they eat pancakes and quiche delivered by waitstaff. The highlight of the breakfast, of course, is the jolly old man himself, who arrives by walking down one of the Arb's many walking paths, dressed in attire reminiscent of Father Nature or St. Nicholas than the typical red-suited cad. He carries a giant walking stick/staff and wears a crown of leaves and branches. By the time he is seated in his oversized chair, a line has stretched the full length of the room and pancakes, sausages, and orange juice lie abandoned everywhere. It has been like this every year we've gone and 2009 was no exception.

The Boy and The Girl were quick to jump into line, but the tot had one destination on his mind: the train set up in the plant clinic across the way. He was not interested in the suited, bearded man that his memory is too short to remember from last year. And after The Boy's two- and three-year-old reactions to Santa, I'm perfectly OK with that. Truth be told, I have a hard time actively promoting the Santa myth.

So The Tot happily went to the trains with Grandpa while Grandma and I waited with The Boy and The Girl for the photo-and-tell-me-all-your-wishes opportunity. The treat bag at the end (Smencil, giant iced cookie, candy canes, mini coloring book and Christmas temporary tattoos) helped too.

From Blogger Photos

We got our free tickets to the train area and headed over to join The Tot and Grandpa. The theme this year was Hansel & Gretel, with lots of Necco Wafer-adorned roofs on the gingerbread houses lining the track. The Tot was beyond excited, but we had to exit after his excitement turned a bit possessive: he was pushing newcomers to the side, touching babies carelessly left in bucket seats, etc. He did not want to leave and took off his jacket three times before I gave up and took him out anyway.

And the winner is...

2009-12-07T22:07:00.000-06:00

My random number-generator was The Boy. At almost 7 years of age, he can count to 100 and beyond, so he was a good candidate for randomness. And so, the winner is:

RyanSarahN

Thanks to everyone who participated in my first Sew, Mama, Sew Giveaway blog and commented on my post. Happy holidays and happy crafting!

GEAP Test, Check

2009-12-05T23:44:00.002-06:00

So, I thought I'd be all bad-ass urban mama and take The Girl on the L to her GEAP test yesterday. And then I realized:

- the test is at 3:30 in the afternoon, which is not the best time for a 4-year-old to be at her best

- it was a school holiday, so Natty didn't need the car to pick up The Boy

- and it's 30-degrees outside

So we drove to IIT instead. Earlier in the day, Natty had taken The Boy, The Girl, and The Tot to the Shedd Aquarium before picking me up at my office (I took a half-day's vacation), so The Girl was pretty wiped out. I left at 2 o'clock, leaving myself a ton of time to get there and hoping The Girl would fall asleep in the car on the way down, but she wrote her first and last name on a piece of paper and counted to forty instead.

We got there way early, at which point I realized I needed cash to pay for parking, so we drove back up to the Jewel-Osco at Roosevelt Road for cash and snacks: Veggie Booty, grapes, and a snack-sized package of bite-sized brownies. Back down to IIT to park, scurry across State Street in the bitingly cold wind, and upstairs to the psychology department in the Life Sciences Building. The Girl was in and out in about 1/2 an hour. She, like The Boy two years ago, couldn't or didn't want to tell me anything about what she'd done during the test. And that's fine. Until recently, it hadn't even occurred to me that someone would prep their kid for the test.

The head of the department was there to answer questions about the process. He couldn't reveal anything about the test CPS uses, or how it's scored. But he did say that the norms they use to determine the standard are actually taken from test data from four or five years ago, which I found pretty interesting. He also said that they score everyone taking into account their actual age, within the month. So The Girl will be scored against all the other 4-year-and-7-month-olds. We'll find out in March how she did.

Bag Tutorial

2009-12-02T18:44:00.000-06:00

A huge THANK YOU to all of you who have read my blog today. I'm always happy to capture an audience's attention, if only for a day (or five). A few of you asked for the link to the tutorial. Although I've found and loved and used many Sew, Mama, Sew tutorials, like this rice heat therapy bag and this pretty garland, I used this Craftster tutorial to make the bags (using this method of strap construction) in my Giveaway post.

These are my latest projects. I'm so excited about the Oliver + S pajamas I'm making for The Boy, The Girl, and The Tot for Christmas morning. Liesl has some fun tricks for waistbands and hems that have made construction so much easier. These are the pair I've finished for The Tot, using a trains flannel print + red flannel trim:

And these are the pants I've done for The Girl, with a white snowflake dot on red background, with a funny red and white trim repurposed from an old baby blanket. I wasn't quite sure how the reds would look against each other, but I'm thrilled with the way it turned out.

Kicking Off the Season

2009-12-02T00:35:00.000-06:00

My friend Becky once said that she feels like she's not a "real" mom unless she makes her children's Halloween costumes. I feel the same way about Christmas presents. If you are so inclined, you should check out the tutorials under Sew, Mama, Sew's Homemade Holidays label. (However, if you are on my giftee list, you should not check out the tutorials). And if you are a regular reader or here from Sew, Mama, Sew's Giveaway Day, I'll cut to the chase.

I love these bags, created from an online tutorial. They are a beautiful alternative to plastic grocery sacks and even store-brand poly sacks, and hold about 3 times as much as well. I keep a stack in my car and one folded up in my purse. I'm giving away a set of two coordinating cotton bags:

To be entered to win these, simply leave a comment here. Be sure to include your e-mail address so that I can contact you. I'll choose a winner randomly, and I'll ship to Canada and within the U.S. I'll leave comments open for this contest until December 6th.

Hooper's Store

2009-11-30T23:31:00.000-06:00

Grandma and Grandpa Texas and Aunt Sam left today. We went to Curio Cafe for brunch before they left for the craziest airport in the U.S. on the second craziest air-travel day of the year. As I have said before, and will continue to say, I love the Curio Cafe. Grandma and Grandpa Texas have been there several times -- Grandma Texas even went once with her friend without kids! When we walked into a full restaurant and I immediately recognized 6 kids and 3 sets of parents, Grandpa Texas commented that he expected Elmo and Oscar the Grouch to walk in at any moment. He meant it as a compliment to Claudia and Lucy; that they've created a neighborhood eatery with good food and good ambiance, where everyone ends up at one point or another.

After we said our good-byes, The Girl and I dropped the boys off at home and headed out to Oak Park, to attend a Leslie B. show. Grandma Naperville introduced me to Leslie B. last year. It's like Chinese artisan/Etsy with lots of one-of-a-kind stone necklaces, pashminas, scarves, etc. The Girl behaved beautifully in the car and at the party, staying close to me and serving as my fashion advisor.

Nickels

2009-11-29T18:52:00.003-06:00

With Grandma & Grandpa Texas at lunch with Grandma & Grandpa Naperville yesterday, we found ourselves with nothing to do on a late-fall Saturday. While I'd normally take this opportunity to go to a museum, I think that's what the rest of the non-shoppers would choose also, so The Dad, The Boy, The Girl, The Tot, and I headed up to Northbrook for our quarterly trip for arcade fun at Nickel City.

It was a slow-moving start in the morning, so we didn't leave until about 11 a.m., which is The Girl's and The Tot's usual lunchtime. Cranky kids + a 25-minute car ride does not for a fun time make. We were all much cheerier after lunch at Panera in Glenview.

We got to Nickel City about 1 p.m. and stayed until just after 2 p.m., playing Skee Ball, Bozo Buckets, Spider Stomp, and various other games. In the free section in the back, I discovered an ancient Japanese game that was a precursor/combination of Bubble Bobble and the iPhone app Bubble Pop and played that for a bit until The Tot and The Dad came to find me. Normally, I get a headache within an hour, but I was actually not ready to leave when The Dad declared that it was time to go. That said, an afternoon at Nickel City is one of my favorite ways to spend $20 and time with my family. We racked up just over 300 tickets between the five of us, enough (with $1.50) for 3 Ring Pops as consolation for having to go home.

The Dad took the kids into Hobby USA adjacent to Nickel City while I ran into Hancock Fabrics (great prices, a massive line for the cutting table and only two people working in the store) for a bodkin. Then we went home - and score! The Tot fell asleep on the way.

Crafty Chicago

2009-11-28T11:05:00.001-06:00

One holiday down, the big'un is less than a month away. Which means that this mama needs to finish up her Christmas projects. Last year, a friend introduced me to the Sew, Mama, Sew blog, and I've been an occasionally devoted reader ever since. In November, I'm a devoted reader of their aggregate Handmade Holidays. In fact, I'll be participating in their Giveaway Day next week. I've been having fun with the Oliver + S Pajama pattern, making a pair of perfectly coordinated flannel PJs for each of my children. You know, with my copious free time these days...

If you are short on free-time (or inspiration, or both), however, you can buy the handiwork of artisans and artists this weekend at the Bucktown Bazaar in Holstein Park. My friend Melissa, of Rapt in Maille, will be crammed somewhere in the fieldhouse, peddling her beautiful and funky chainmail pieces.

And if you miss her this weekend (family in town, stuck in the 'burbs for the weekend, etc.), you can see her (and thousands of other fabulous artists) at the One of a Kind Art Show and Sale at the Merchandise Mart, starting on Thursday, December 3rd.

Flashback with a Twist

2009-11-27T23:34:00.000-06:00

With the work-holiday, today was like a flashback to November 2008 -- plus two. After staying up way too late last night to work on my first Oliver + S project, I slept in a bit this morning. Then The Boy, The Girl, The Tot, and I headed out to Aurora to visit Cara and her ever-growing brood (the plus two since last year are Kenley and Tillie).

Cara and I had an an old-fashioned mom-visit, complete with tea and toys and kids running around all over the house. The Girl and Gracie, and The Boy and Johnny started back where they left off, playing Barbies and dolls, and battlefield-stars, respectively. The Tot eventually warmed up to the toys in the living room, and was quite upset when we left around 2:30 because Tillie had to go to the pediatrician's office.

All three kids fell asleep in the car on the way home (w00t!). When we got home, The Boy and The Tot went on the L with The Dad, while I took The Girl to the Treasure Store. We picked up Aunt Sam, who is visiting from Texas this week for the holiday, along the way. I love the Treasure Store: this cabinet (in white) for $20, plus the usual clothing deals. The Girl drove our departure from the store, but I want to go back for the mod cabinet and about half a dozen other pieces.

We had planned to go to CBA for dinner, but discovered after we parked and paid our LAX fee that it was closed for the holiday (or maybe it closes at 3 p.m.? I can't remember a time that I went there for anything other than lunch). I was quite surprised, but most of Lincoln Park-DuPaul seemed to be buttoned up for the day, actually. With rumbling bellies, we trekked up Armitage to Halsted to see what sort of food we could procure that would be as suitable for me, Aunt Sam, and an adventurous-but-messily-attired 4-year-old

...and ended up at Cafe Ba Ba Reeba! I've been there only once before, in 2003, for a moms' night out with our playgroup. On that occasion, we waited for 20 minutes for our reservation. Tonight, we walked in and were seated immediately. Cafe Ba Ba Reeba is definitely tapas for an American (Chicago, Lincoln Park) palate, but it suited The Girl just fine. We ordered a few pintxos, potato salad, baked goat cheese with tomato sauce, artisanal cheese plate, chicken empanada, and fried green peppers. Plus mango sorbet and caramel-almond cake. The Girl is, and always has been, a fantastic dining companion, especially outside the negative influence of her brothers. She eats everything, is willing to try almost anything, and can be entertained with a pencil and paper or people-watching. We sat just opposite the main prep bar, so we had lots to see.

Disney II in the News

2009-11-27T20:51:00.000-06:00

Along with the rest of the school and its community, the PR machine at Disney II works. Disney II was the lead in today's New York Times story about parent-led fundraising and Arne Duncan/President Obama's developing push for an extended school day. The Boy's class is pictured in the accompanying photograph.

Trials of the Working Mum #2

2009-11-24T22:25:00.002-06:00

Fatigue. I don't know if it's an earlier school time, a later bed time, or just a general lack of time, but we're all just plain tired in our house these days. The Tot, who still takes a 1-3-hour nap, is the glaring exception to this. But The Girl is a disaster most days when I arrive home around 6 p.m. and cramming in dinner, books, and at least 1/2 an hour of homework is certainly not helping. The Tot likes to fart around in his crib before he goes to sleep each night--but only if I stay in the room with him. I can no longer recall where I read this (there's that fatigue component coming into play again), but I seem to remember reading a quote from some child-development expert (Burton White? Dr. Sears? Marc Weissbluth?) that no person under the age of 35 can sleep during primetime hours, while no parent over the age of 30 can stay awake during those hours.

However, the immediate post-bedtime hour on a Friday or Saturday evening is really the only time that I get to talk--or listen--to The Boy. How else is a busy working mother with a busy, full-time student (although he's only not-quite seven) going to learn all the important facts about her child? Some things have changed in the first three months of school, some things have stayed the same.

The Boy: An Interview

Favorite color: Red. And blue and yellow and green.
Favorite food: crockpot BBQ chicken sandwiches (thanks Becky!)
Best friend: A. and Enver
Best friend who's a girl: A. and S.
Favorite subject in school: Writing. And also guided reading and science.
What he wants to be when he grows up: To study science and space (Me: "An astronomer?") No, a professor.

Trials of the Working Mum #1

2009-11-07T21:46:00.007-06:00

This evening, at the GIPNA 4th Annual Fine Wine and Cheese party, I ran into my friend Meredith, who asked me about my new job, and whether I was still blogging, although not necessarily in that order. She told me that she used to read this blog and feel guilty because I was always taking my children on fabulous adventures, while she was working.

I now understand what she means, as I've neither written for pleasure in almost a month, nor done anything enriching with my children in twice as long. Where I used to have five solid days each week to take my children to museums, on playdates, and to IKEA, I now have but one (the other taken up with football with the cousins until early February). And that day is also the day that suburbanites trek into the city to see the fish, tourists on a mad-dash Windy City trip gawk at the Bean, and all of Lincoln Park/Lakeview goes shopping. Add in my regular chores of laundry, bill-paying, dry-cleaners, menu-planning, Target runs, and catching up on my sleep. Not to mention squeezing in quality one-on-one time with each child (one of whom insists that that time include a ride on the trip and a trip to Starbucks), and well, there's hardly time to breathe, let alone muster the energy to pack three children into a crowded museum for the day.

Yes, I know: this is a uniquely middle-class problem, and I'm fortunate to count myself within it. I've been spoiled by years of visiting the Field, the Shedd, MSI, the Notebaert, the zoos, the Arb, and the Garfield Park Conservatory (not to mention the big blue box) pretty much on my own terms. But: I now understand why people take vacations. I have not worked long enough to feel guilty, as Meredith did, about the adventures upon which I am not or no longer taking my children. Someone ask me in a year if this is still true.

Impersonating a Yuppie

2009-10-11T23:16:00.000-05:00

The pleasures of a two-year-old are simple, and simply attained. This morning, after a brief stop at the Independence Park farmer's market, I took The Tot on the train. We had no destination; merely got on the train and off the train at various stations (Harlem, Logan Square, Division) until we got tired of riding the train.

At Logan Square, I took him out of the station and up to the Gap Outlet, where he crawled under the racks and shrieked through the dressing room to hear the echo while I tried on clothes. We got a piecemeal lunch of cheese, bread, an apple, and lemonade at a bodega on Milwaukee, then got back on the train. Unfortunately, we got on the southbound train at that point, so we rode the crowded train down to Division before switching trains. At every station, The Tot waved good-bye to the departing train; most people were fairly amused by this and waved back to The Tot. Although the CTA bans eating on the train, we ate our lunch on the train, taking bites out of our hunk of cheese and apple. There was lots of cuddling and basic conversation. These moments are what I miss in returning to work.

When we returned home, we got in the car, picked up The Dad, and ran errands. The Boy had gone off this morning to Legoland with Allison, and with The Girl in Naperville, it was like we were a little family of 3 for today. So we did things that are easy enough with one child, like going to the AT&T store to pick out iPhones. Afterwards, we went to Whole Foods for free-range meats and organic milk. And finally, we cruised through Target for diapers and the obligatory Thomas-branded train (The Dad is such a sucker).

Mama-Boy Playdate

2009-10-11T22:23:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, I enjoyed a rare treat: an afternoon out, one-on-one, with The Boy. We drove The Girl out to Oakbrook to meet Grandma-and-Grandpa Naperville for the weekend. And then spent a couple of hours bumming around together.

The Boy is just learning how to read and having some trouble with it. I love to read, and I really want The Boy to discover this joy as well. So I took him to Borders in Oakbrook. We started with a snack (cherry Italian soda and a marshmallow square for The Boy, hot tea and a snickerdoodle for me) and talked about school, Bakugan characters, and how he missed The Girl already.

Then we headed to the children's section, where we looked at picture books and easy readers. The Boy got a Henry and Mudge book as well as a more mature (but more appealing to my sensibilities) chapter book called The Magician's Boy, and a Star Wars Clone Wars comic book. It's funny, but having a challenged reader has changed my perspective on comic books completely. I refused to buy them when The Boy was younger, but I now think that anything that gets him to read is a good thing, even if the lead is "General Grievous," followed by lots of gobbledy-gook, complicated names.

I picked out a Little Golden Book for The Girl in the vintage style of which are both somewhat fond (Little Mommy), and another Max and Ruby book (Bunny Mail) for The Tot. Then we headed over to the literature section for about 5 minutes so that I could pick out books - the new Audrey Niffenegger and two novels by Alice Siddon and Ann Patchett.

The Boy declared that he was hungry and asked if we could go to McDonald's. Where better to go the golden arches than in their hometown? So we went to McDonald's flagship, where we both had chicken McNuggets and largely ignored each other while watching McDonald's TV on large flat screens mounted to the wall. We listened to music and talked a bit on the drive home.

Ready, Set, GO!

2009-10-02T13:46:00.002-05:00

CPS applications are up. Click here to download "the book," GEAP forms, and the standard application. Applications are due December 18, 2009.

Working Moms Circuit

2009-09-25T22:50:00.000-05:00

As recent posts would indicate, I went back to work earlier this month. A job opportunity fell in my lap and it seemed wise to take it, especially in this economy. There are lots of things I missed about not working, especially as it became harder to execute adventures between The Boy's schedule and The Tot's nap.

Although I miss spending quantity time with my children, going back to an office after 6 years at home/working evenings is a new adventure of sorts. I'm used to running into random friends on weekdays at the treasure store, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, the park, etc. Now I run into fellow working moms, our children in tow, at odd times and places, like Target at 7:30 on a Friday night. And there's the new adventure of finding, hiring and, well, having a nanny, tossing about phrases like, "My nanny can pick The Girl up," while arranging playdates with my SAHM friends. (The Tot and The Girl like Natty a lot [I can't make myself use "The Nanny;" it's too The Nanny Diaries for me and I'm sooo not Mrs. X]. The Boy is mostly in aftercare at Disney II.

Working Moms Lunch

2009-09-23T20:45:00.004-05:00

Today, I attended the first NPN event I'd been to since before my fleeting membership expired in 2004. This time, it was a lunch for the Working Mothers Group. Embracing my new status as a working mom, and after a long time spent with the enemy in the mommy wars, I was eager to meet those women of which I had heretofore only caught passing glimpses during school events or rushing for the morning train.

Unfortunately, I didn't get much out of it. I know that networking is a process, and a reciprocal one at that. It was only my first event; I am not ready to throw in the towel just yet. But at a table full of mothers of infants, I really did not have much in common with anyone. I deliberately skipped the nursing-sleep-deprived-new-mother stage of working; except for a few months when The Boy was wee, I was at home to nurse my babies and nurture their babyhood. I have three children, the oldest of whom is already in elementary school, so I'm also largely past the school-tours-and-application-frenzy stage (not to mention past the juggling a toddler and infant stage). And I was also the only mother there who recently returned to full-time work after a long period of setting my own schedule.

I did get to have a yummy Corner Bakery lunch and spent 40 minutes listening and talking to other mothers, and I rode in a cab (twice) for the first time in recent memory, so it wasn't a total loss. I'll continue to watch the WMG events list in the coming months, but I may have to form my own working mothers lunch group.

And here we go again...

2009-09-22T22:12:00.002-05:00

It's nearly October 1, the date on which CPS school applications come out. The Girl is set to enter Kindergarten in Fall 2010, which means I'm about to climb back on the apply-test-and-wait roller coaster that is the CPS application process. Of course, I will apply and hope-like-hell that The Girl gets into Disney II via the sibling lottery, but I'd be a fool to put my daughter's education eggs all in one basket.

Someone recently asked me about my experience with Disney II, now that we're in Year Two. Here is what I wrote:

My neighbor and I joke that we feel like we really won the lottery because our kids got into Disney II. Seriously, it's a fantastic school with a great principal, a committed parent body, an even more committed teaching staff, and good resources. Since my 1st grader (The Boy) is my oldest child, I haven't had any first-hand experience with other CPS schools, but I am very happy with Disney II. I recently attended a parent meeting where the principal said that her goal is to make Disney II one of the top 10 elementary schools in CPS; I have no doubt that she'll do it.

The school mandate is to integrate technology and the arts. There seems to be a greater emphasis on the arts part of it, but whether this is actually true or a misperception on my part, I am actually fine with the inequality. We have more computers than children, so I have no doubt that my kids will get supplementary tech education at home. They have art, technology and gym twice/week and music once/week. Currently, the school's gym and music teachers are part-time, but if they can swing the budget, they'd like to hire them full time.

The curriculum also has a huge emphasis on literacy, which really appeals to me as a reader and writer myself. I do not know how it is at other schools, but at Disney II, the literacy component seems to be very well thought-out and developed. They are the only school in CPS (and I think within Illinois) to use the U. Chicago-developed STEP system. There is an emphasis not only on learning TO read, but on learning HOW to read.

In Kindergarten, The Boy had a harder time of it -- as did my friends' children who were in 1st and 2nd grade last year, but now that he's been trained in the Disney II way to learn, he's doing really well. Watching your kid learn how to read is one of the most daunting and amazing things I've seen as a parent. Last year, I had no idea how they were going to teach my kid how to read, but they've done it and I think he's doing well for his age/inclination. The school had a full-time literacy coordinator last year, but her title has shifted a bit and she is now the curriculum coordinator. She knows The Boy and The Girl and they know her. They also have a few special education coordinators, although The Boy and The Girl don't interact with them much.

Over the summer, the school developed an assessment and benchmarking system to use for their math curriculum. They do use everyday math, which I still don't quite understand. There's no formal math curriculum in K, and I'm only just getting into 1st grade, so I cannot really comment on the math component. There is a science part of the curriculum as well.

Finally, they use a looping/circular system to instruction, which I like because that is how The Boy learns. The school day is 1 hour longer than any other CPS school day. This allows them to make up instructional time missed for staff institute days, etc. and have a daily recess.

The overall vibe about the school is positive. This is a school whose parent population is overwhelmingly present, involved, and interested in their children's schooling. Students put on quarterly shows that integrate all the elements of a learning unit; the first one was last year in December and was SRO - they split them into 2 shows and they are still SRO events.

Our PTA was formed in November; we raised well over $16K last year for a gym sound system, gym mats, percussive instruments, and other things. Disney II is in its last year of funding from the Renaissance Foundation/Renaissance 2010 initiative. A corporate fundraiser for the Renaissance Foundation came to speak at an IAC meeting and said, "You can tell when you walk in the door whether a school works. Disney II works."

Look to the Left....

2009-08-02T21:20:00.000-05:00

I decided to follow a neighbor/classmate's suggestion that we go to the Justin Roberts concert at Retro on Roscoe this afternoon, and took The Boy and The Girl there this afternoon while The Tot and The Dad stayed home to nap. Yes, both of them.

A $5 donation got us in the door, and it would have been a fantastic deal if I hadn't succumbed to the $5-per-kid all-access wristband for The Boy and The Girl to go through the bouncy castle and "play" mini golf. I know, I know, it's a fundraiser for Roscoe Village. We got there about 1:30 and waited in line for the bouncy obstacle course a couple of times before sitting down on the astroturf in front of the stage. We waited through about 20 minutes of soundchecks before Justin Roberts and his band reappeared in their nerd-cool wear to do his thing.

I turned to the left during JR's Picture Day song and saw at least 4 of my fellow Homewood-Flossmoor grads. I shouldn't have been so surprised; the last time I went to Retro, I ran into the late Nancy McLinden in front the same stage.

The Boy and The Girl listened and danced to most of JR's hour-long set, but he lost them to the bouncy castles before he finished. We stayed until about 4:30 before calling it quits. At that point, I was hot, tired, hungry, and bored standing in line by myself while the kids played.

Kindergarten Playdate

2009-08-01T21:01:00.000-05:00

It was a highlight of the summer: a Saturday playdate/picnic with The Boy's kindergarten class and teacher at Disney II playground. The Girl, The Boy, The Tot and I all walked/biked over, and The Dad joined us later with the car (and coffee!). Although the tail-end of the meeting was rained out and not everyone came, there was a good turnout of classmates and their families and The Boy, The Girl and The Tot all had a good time.

Afterward, The Dad dropped me off at the Women's Building so that I could help the GIPNA crew set up and prep for the 6th annual Gourmet Pancake Breakfast.

Kung-Fu Fighting, Kung-Fu Crying

2009-07-29T21:46:00.001-05:00

The Dad and I went out to see the new Harry Potter movie at the Davis Theater a couple of weeks ago. It was my first time in a Chicago movie theater in months, so I was unaware of the theater's Camp Hollywood program. So my outing today with The Boy and The Tot was to see Kung-Fu Panda at the Davis. The Boy had never seen it and he really enjoyed it. But most of the kids in the theater were younger--and restless. The Tot was one of these. We left the theater about 3 times during the film -- to get more Runts from the gumball dispenser, get some water from the fountain, or just to run up and down the ramp a couple of times.

In the afternoon, after naps and The Girl's return from camp, we took a trip to the library. It was nearly a successful visit. I say nearly because, of course, the security guard started to yell at me because The Tot pulled a few picture books down from the shelf while I was around the corner cleaning up the mess he'd made in the children's section. I try to instill good library manners in my children, but it's difficult to do so with 3 kids and so many constraints placed on me/us while we are the library: no strollers, we seem to be the only people who are ever shushed, must wait in line, not spin the oh-so-tempting rotating shelves, can't pull the picture books off the shelves. Seriously? Would they rather I just not use the public library?!? The security guard at Independence must think it's still 1962, when children were seen, but not heard -- even in the children's section of the darn library. Thank goodness the librarians there are all sweet as pie. The upside of the visit was a new stack of books to read at bedtime and a museum pass for a trip to MSI later this week.

Contemporary Art

2009-07-28T20:19:00.000-05:00

We had an old-fashioned, Chicago Mama-style adventure today: The Boy, The Girl, The Tot and I took the Blue Line and the bus down to the MCA. We met Jenna and her kids to see the Olafur Eliasson exhibit.

... and discovered a farmer's market in the plaza on Mies Van Der Rohe. We stopped for a pastry at Floriole Bakery and then walked up and down the stairs a couple of times to wait for Jenna, whose problems parking surpassed our own in public transportation. The Tot did an amazing job with all those steps.

The Olafur Eliasson exhibit was pretty amazing. We explored it thoroughly while I kept a watchful eye on my tactile-happy children (fortunately, they did OK with the no-touching). The exhibit explored light and nature. I took from it that there's beauty in the simple things in nature (sunlight through water makes a rainbow, for example). My favorite section was the hall whose lights bleached everyone out to black-and-white. It was the coolest thing, although it did hurt my eyes.

After a quick stop at the children's art table set out front and at another farmer-vendor to get zucchini and arugula, we all walked over to Seneca Playlot to eat our potluck picnic lunch and play on slides and swings. Jenna and I actually got to chat during this portion of the day. They left about 1 to get home for decompression and naps.

We caught the bus down Michigan Avenue to Nordstrom to get The Boy a pair of school shoes in the anniversary sale. Then home via nearly the same route we took to come downtown. The Tot was pretty tired by the time we got home around 3 p.m.; he fell asleep on me on the train.

When we arrived home, The Boy took about 5 minutes to get inside the house, take off his shoes, check his toys, and then asked me if we were going to do anything fun today and declared himself bored. I declared that he could go explore the inside of his room! Gah!

New Docs

2009-07-27T21:44:00.000-05:00

Today was a relatively uneventful day: I took The Girl to camp, and The Boy and The Tot to their respective 6-year and 2-year well-child check-ups at the pediatrician. Our pediatric practice has gone through some staffing changes recently. Our favorite doctor, Dr. Shah, left to take a fellowship at U. Chicago. We met one of the new doctors, Dr. Deitch, at today's visit. The Boy and The Tot got shots, which pleased no one in the room.

We stopped at K-Mart to look for watercolor sets, got a new Bakugan lunch box for The Boy, and then went to lunch at Potbelly before picking up The Girl and her friend from camp.

Nickels

2009-07-26T21:19:00.000-05:00

This morning, The Girl and I headed out to Lee Nails for a brief Mama-The Girl playdate. She got her fingernails polished ($5) from my lap, and I chatted with the D2 PTA mom and the CFC mom I knew.

Afterward, we went over to Sears to check out possible replacements for our slowly dying and terribly impractical side-by-side refrigerator (the icemaker is toast and has been since about 2003). The Dad and I currently debating the merits of SBS with icemaker in the door versus a French door or other bottom-freezer model. Why this is a debate, I'll never know, as we're both tall and leaning down to reach stuff in the bottom of the fridge is a PITA.

After The Tot's nap, we took a family outing to Nickel City in Northbrook, a favorite destination for both The Boy and The Dad. The Tot just likes putting nickels in the slots, whether he plays the game or not. I played a couple of rounds of DDR, but grew too tired after I moved out of beginner mode. We had collected 135 tickets by the time we were ready to leave, and I overruled the kids' desire to use it for tiny pieces of plastic junk they'd lose in the car and forget about by the time we got home; instead, we got a bag of M&Ms, which we split 3 ways among much crying. The Dad took the kids into Hobbytown USA, and I headed to Tuesday Morning, where I inadvertently started my Christmas shopping with a $15 Corolle doll for The Girl and German wooden train set for The Tot. We went to Panera in Glenview for dinner--and no one complained about that choice! A sweet afternoon all-around.

Vella Cafe

2009-07-25T20:44:00.001-05:00

With The Dad and The Boy out of town with the car, I decided to take The Girl and The Tot on a little adventure on the L this morning. After a thorough read of good-for-kids brunch spots in Logan Square and Bucktown, I decided to hit Vella Cafe. To echo the Yelpers, it's hard to believe that this tiny building under the Western Avenue L stop could be so full of light, air and space, but it was. I ordered the polenta triangles for me for $8, a $3 side of scrambled eggs for The Tot, and a $4 cinnamon-sugar crepe for The Girl. Also ordered fresh-squeezed OJ ($3.50) for The Tot, fruit lemonade ($2) for The Girl, and an Olla something latte ($3) for me. With the exception of the cherry-lemonade, which was too sour for the The Girl, it was all good. The polenta-cheddar triangles were smothered in scrambled eggs, cheese, and salsa verde; yum! The Tot mostly ignored his eggies in favor of eating bits of The Girl's crepe (which she called a "grape" -- a good reminder to use the proper French for such words).

She asked me if I could make crepes at home. I told her I could, but I needed a special pan for it, and suggested we get back on the train to get to that store (Sur la Table). So we got back on the Blue Line, transferred to the Green Line (The Girl wanted to ride the Pink Line, but the green came along first), and then again to the Cubs-Fan-packed Red Line, disembarking at North & Clybourn. We headed over to Sur la Table for our $25 crepe pan (and $4 India Tree pink sanding sugar), then did a bit of impulse back-to-preschool (assuming there is PFA in the fall) shopping next door at the Carter's outlet. And then we went home the long way, transferring to the Blue Line at Jackson.

More PFA News

2009-07-24T16:15:00.008-05:00

This morning, a friend told me that Ebinger and Edison Park canceled their PFA programs for Fall 2009. After a round of half-informed conjecture among 3 interested would-be PFA parents this morning, and a thorough review of posts on NPN about the subject, I called the Office of Early Childhood Education (773-553-2010) for the real scoop.

I spoke with a very nice man, Christopher Rosine, who directs the PFA program for CPS. He clearly (and very patiently, I might add!) answered all of my questions -- and there were a lot, as would be true of anyone with a vested interest and/or a journalistic background.

First, he said that it his office's goal to keep all of their current PFA programs open in the fall (which, for those of you keeping track at home, is in 6 weeks). He mentioned this point several times during our conversation.

He reiterated what I already knew: that the State Board of Education met on Tuesday and cut 32% of the funding stream for early childhood programs. But what I didn't know was that this cut affects not only PFA, but birth to 3 programs, and Early Intervention, the social service that evaluates and works to correct children's behavioral, speech, gross motor, fine motor and other skills delays. CPS and the Office of Early Childhood Education does not yet know what percentage of the Early Childhood Block Grant will be for Chicago's PFA program versus these other programs. If there are insufficient funds, they will either find resources within CPS to keep the program, or go outside for alternate funding options. Unfortunately, Mr. Rosine said, his office does not yet know what, if any, the shortfall will be, and therefore cannot go shopping for funds. He expects Springfield to notify his office within the next 2 weeks.

If they have enough funding, no programs will be cut. As it stands now, the program pays for a teacher and assistant for each school's PFA, plus room supplies and furnishings when a preschool first opens. If they do not have enough money, cannot reallocate funds from within CPS, or cannot find an outside source of funds, two things can happen:

1. Schools can choose to convert their programs to a 1/2 day tuition-based preschool. In this scenario, each school would administer the program at the school-level, collecting annual tuition of $3500-$4000 from parents. According to posts on NPN, Audubon is considering such a program; per Mrs. Stone, Disney II has said that it does not have the resources to do so.

2. They will cut PFA programs. Mr. Rosine said that they'll use the overall school community statistics to determine which programs to cut. Because the state has mandated that PFA serves at-risk for school failure children first, and a significant indicator of at-risk children is economic status, those programs that serve a higher percentage of economically disadvantaged children are more likely to retain their programs, whether they offer 8 PFA classes (like Belding) or 2 (like Disney II). His office uses the percentage of free and reduced lunch participants at a school to determine at-risk status. However, he said that a number of schools with a 100% free/reduced meal rate have already been converted to Head Start programs (which are federally funded -- and they have money) and they have plans to convert another 1000 slots to Head Start before the fall.

Fingers crossed that the Office of Early Education makes its goal for Fall 2009.

We'd Like to Thank You Rod Blagojevich

2009-07-23T22:41:00.006-05:00

...for screwing up our state's budget. OK, it probably was already screwed up when you got it, but you did nothing to improve matters. And neither has your successor. I am thankful to you myself for creating a statewide program (preschool for all), upon which my family has come to depend, but which our state can no longer afford (assuming it ever could). The IL Board of Education announced earlier this week that the early childhood education budget took a 33% hit. What that means for The Girl (and me) remains to be seen. But I'm thinking that the program will probably get the axe at the 11th hour, leaving me and about 12,000 other parents citywide scrambling for alternate preschool for our children. That is, assuming we see the value in early childhood education and/or can afford it.

At this point, CPS has not disseminated any information to PFA parents about the near future of their children's education. I've got my ear to the ground on this issue and I still don't know a damn thing.

I talked to State rep Deb Mell last week, who first told me that I'd have to call the governor's office to find out what was happening with the education budget and PFA, and then asked me what people did for preschool before PFA. The Boy is 6 and The Girl is 4; I don't know what "people" did for preschool before PFA, I was not among them then. Presumably, they sent their children to daycare, private schools, parochial schools, or park district programs, at varying levels of affordability. The Boy spent a year in parochial preschool, an experience I do not care to repeat. I have no problem sending The Girl to the park district, but fear that the Web site will lock up at 9 a.m. on August 17th as thousands of parents attempt to register their children for the already limited spaces in these programs.

Today, I spoke to the lovely Mrs. Santiago at Disney II, who also had no news. At last week's IAC meeting, a member proposed a 1/2-day TBPK. However, besides being problematic in terms of tuition amounts and teacher fee structure, such a program would have to be administered by the school, which does not have the resources to support it. I wonder if D2 has enough interest to open a second TBPK classroom?

Scuttlebutt from CPS teachers, friends in-the-know and other interested parties suggests that I -- and any other would-be PFA parent -- would do well to have a back-up plan for preschooling our children. Where will your children attend preschool next year?

Orient Express

2009-07-12T23:18:00.000-05:00

Listened to The Girl scream bloody murder this afternoon because The Boy marched around the Metra platform, nowhere near the yellow strip and with the train running 20 minutes behind. This may be the reason that our adventures are severely reduced. With 3 kids, I cannot devote the mental energy required to prep us all plus watch the boys and work to calm The Girl (a futile effort it would seem). She was, quite literally, hysterical. Finally, after I threatened to go home and then counted slowly to 10 with her for about 5 minutes straight, she calmed down enough that we were able to sit on the platform and wait another 10 minutes for the train to arrive.

The transportation comedy of errors continued when the water taxi reached capacity as we were on the ramp, and we had to wait 20 minutes for another boat. It ended up a good thing, however, as we discovered when the next boat showed up that the original boat was heading east to Michigan Avenue, in the opposite direction of Chinatown.

Before getting on the water taxi, we stopped at the food court in Ogilivie Center for lunch. Food courts are such a bad concept for families with young children. The Boy, The Girl, and The Tot had McDonald's Happy Meals while I had an Arby's Jr. The Dad got something from Great Steak and while he was waiting, I fell victim to the tourist-hounding scam artists downtown: $1 for a postcard of Chicago's skyline "to help the homeless." Oh well; The Boy can send it to Grandma Texas.

We did eventually get the water taxi to Chinatown and enjoyed a pleasant ride down the river to Ping Tom Memorial Park. We let the kids plan on the equipment for a good 1/2 hour before heading further into Chinatown in search of caffeine and a snack. I hadn't been to Chicago's Chinatown in over 20 years, so the outdoor shopping mall we entered through the "Dragon Gate" was completely unfamiliar. What I remember of Chinatown is garish storefronts, MSG-laden and dark Chinese restaurants, and 5 & Dime stores selling rice candy and cheaply made bamboo finger cuffs. Very different from the sleek and airy restaurants, bubble-tea hawkers, and imports stores that greeted us today. It was at this point that The Boy ramped up his complaints: he didn't want to eat here and he wanted to go home, NOW, for a snack.

We stopped at Joy Yee for dessert--original frozen yogurt (that actually tasted like yogurt) with sprinkles and M&Ms for The Girl and The Boy, respectively. The Boy didn't like his and quickly abandoned his "no-sharing-with-The-Tot" attitude and the yogurt itself to The Tot, who loved it. The Dad ordered a watermelon smoothie with tapioca; he discovered 3 sips in that he doesn't like bubble tea (what was he doing during our 4-year stint in Silicon Valley?!?).

The Boy, The Girl, The Tot and I made a brief trip into a store with lots of Sanrio. The Boy begged me for some Yam-Yam sticks and got them. The Tot ran in circles until I handed him to The Dad outside. The Girl and I looked at lots of Hello Kitty stuff, eventually settling on stickers and a sandwich carrier.

Not long after, we called it quits and headed back to the park, the water taxi and the train. We caught the 4:30 p.m. train home, just managing to find 3 adjacent seats way up in the front of the train. I did have to ask a woman seated near us to move her giant bag and nearly-as-large purse out of the seat so that The Boy could sit down for 10 minutes while she read her Lucky magazine with a disgusted look on her pinched face. Oh to be the fly on the wall of the compartment after we got off at the Irving Park stop and a whole crowd of drunk and sweaty Cubs fans got on after the afternoon's double header. I was never so happy to get off a train, walk home, and make dinner (zucchini quiche with zukes and dill from this morning's farmer's market at the park this morning).

Independence Park Farmer's Market

2009-07-12T23:14:00.000-05:00

If the number of tents and the crowds at this morning's farmer's market were any indication, I'd say that the Independence Park farmer's market has finally arrived. This morning's market had 5 actual produce-bearing farmers (one of them organic), the coffee guy, the free-range/organic beef/eggs guy, knife-sharpener, organic donuts and sugar-waffle gas, nun with baked goods, Ideal Pastry (my kids are addicted to their $3/pop smiley-face cookies), another cookie lady, olives and hummus, cheese, tamales, Pappy's kettle corn, pet treats, soap and a few things I've missed.

The next Independence Park farmer's market will take place on Sunday, July 26th from 9 a.m. - 1 p.m. Hope to see you there!

Wandering in Wicker Park

2009-07-08T00:05:00.000-05:00

The Girl went back to camp today. I had planned to take The Boy and The Tot to Des Plaines' Choo-Choo Cafe, but after reading several Yelp reviews that panned the restaurant, I abandoned the plan. I went in a different direction to achieve the same end: a train ride and lunch.

So we took the L to Wicker Park -- The Tot was both excited and mildly freaked out by the train -- and bummed around. I completely forgot that nothing in Wicker Park really opens before 11 a.m. and it started to rain just as we exited the Damen station, so going to the playground was out. We got coffee and pastry (and cupcakes, for The Boy and The Tot) at Red Hen Bread and had just started to wander aimlessly when The Boy and I remembered that Wicker Park is the site of The Boring Store. So we trekked down Milwaukee to go to the store, but discovered that it opened even later than the rest of Wicker Park.

Back down Milwaukee to kill more time, we stopped into Urban Outfitters, one of the only stores open at the normal retail hour of 10 a.m. I tried on skinny jeans and decided they look ridiculous on someone my age. The Tot wanted to walk upstairs, so we did and looked at the tchotckes there. Then we had lunch at Penny's Noodles at The Boy's request, and went back to The Boring Store.

Pirate's Cove Playdate

2009-07-07T22:38:00.001-05:00

Today, the weather cooperated enough for me to take The Boy, The Girl, and The Tot to Pirate's Cove in Elk Grove Village. I was first introduced to Pirate's Cove by The Dad's sister-in-law, an EKG resident and fellow employee of the EKG park district, but hadn't been again since The Boy was just over 2. We met our friend Cara and her kids in the parking lot, and our huge group of 6 kids and 1 baby walked into the park together.

The kids had a great time; with a handful of automated rides and other kid-level amusements, all staffed by fresh-faced, madly-texting teenagers, the park is perfect for kids between 4- and 7-years-old (conveniently, the age of our group). Everyone rode the Safari train and played at the playground. The Girl, The Boy, Gracie and Kenley rode the kid-size carousel for an hour straight, and did the burlup-bag slide for another 1/2 an hour. The Boy lent John his Cons so that they could both do the climbing wall, and everyone waited in line for like 1/2 an hour to go on the hand-crank paddleboats (The Girl lasted about 30 seconds before she tried to hold onto the side of the pool, while still in the boat).

We left for about an hour and went across the street to Panera for lunch. That was an experience; 7 kids and 2 moms trying to have lunch at noon at a crowded lunch place next to an office park. We managed to all eat and use the facilities and even get cookies afterward. Then we returned to Pirate's Cove for a couple more hours of playing.

Cara had to take off around 3 to visit her eldest child at Girl Scout camp, so the kids and I left Pirate's Cove as well. We made a quick stop at Jewel in EKG before heading home to take The Boy to his swimming lesson at Independence Park.

Craft Mobile

2009-07-06T21:14:00.000-05:00

The Girl stayed home from camp this morning and spent the day with The Boy, The Tot and me. We started the day by attending the Disney II kindergarten playdate; Caroline D. moved it this week to Kolmar Playlot so that we could take advantage of the park district's Craftmobile. From my perspective, this was a disastrous move; most of the kindergarten was at camp, Magic Mushroom, or other summer programs, and The Boy was not happy about playing with the 3 girls from his class who were at the park. He eventually calmed down enough to paint a beautiful dolphin as the craft. The Tot and The Girl painted dolphins as well.

We made a quick dash to K-Mart afterwards, where we ran into our neighbors D. and H. and their nanny. We met them a bit later at Athletic Field Park to run through the sprinklers together. I somehow ended up pulling 4 kids in our wagon on the way home. Oooof.

Justin Roberts at Ravinia

2009-07-05T20:43:00.001-05:00

After a morning spent on the incredibly frustrating task of trying to install slab doors in The Girl's room, we all changed our clothes, hopped in the car and drove up the Edens to Ravinia to hear Justin Roberts (and the Not-Ready-for-Naptime Players). They weren't promoting a new/specific album, so they played a mix of old favorites during the hour-long set.

Unlike our last JR-Ravinia concert experience, we made it to the park on-time--nay, early enough to eat our picnic lunch of PB&J sandwiches and cold salads before Justin Roberts hit the stage. The Dad and I borrowed a corkscrew from a neighboring family to open our Provencial Rose and split the bottle. We bopped around on the lawn with The Boy, The Girl, The Tot and a ton of other kids; I managed to lose my glasses in the process.

Independence Day 2009

2009-07-04T23:25:00.001-05:00

Sometimes -- and always on Independence Day -- I love living here. Last year, we sweated and baked in the hot sun at the park's parade-and-field day festivities. This year, it was raining and cold -- seems to be a theme for this summer. As drizzly and gray as the weather has been, I think I prefer it to the beating-down sun and the inevitable headache I get from squinting.

Either The Dad and I have gotten better at preparing him for these events, or he's matured significantly in the last year, but The Boy had a much better attitude this year about the park festivities. He was excited to decorate and ride his bike in the parade, and he enjoyed seeing his friends. He happily participated in the games and races for his age group, and took not winning cheerfully. He even sat in Engine #69's cab and posed for a photograph:

After the parade, The Girl went up to the podium to help Susan Ryan sing "the dawnzer song" (to quote Ramona the Pest). Then the games began, and she was an enthusiastic participant:

The Dad and I hung out, chit-chatting with neighbors and friends. We all played on the playground, and went home around noon for lunch and regrouping. My neighbor said that she was going to take her brood out to lunch, and I decided to do the same. We had a hard time agreeing on a place (The Girl wanted McDonald's, The Boy wanted Golden Nugget), but we ended up at Chili's in Niles (sometimes you just want something easy and reliable, if not exactly stellar cuisine).

We spent the rest of the afternoon puttering around the house and napping. The Dad took The Boy to the fireworks in Skokie, and I let The Tot (who was despondent that The Dad left without him) and The Girl watch Cars on DVD before we read books and went to bed.

A Day Off

2009-07-03T15:12:00.000-05:00

I've just come home to a quiet house. The Dad has taken The Boy, The Girl, and The Tot to the AMC Theater on Western to see Ice Age 3: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. Like many white-collar companies, The Dad's company is observing the Independence Day holiday today, and has given everyone the day off. Since he has the day off, I thought I'd take the day off as well.

So I took the bus to Lincoln Square to meet my friend Jen, have lunch at Oparte Thai House, buy a couple birthday gifts at Timeless Toys (it is kind of fun to look at toys without the kids), and stop in at a treasure store on the way home. I overheard way too much Michael Jackson blasting from everyone's stereos on round trip. Now I'm off to read my book, The Billionaire's Vinegar, and take a nap.

Playdates All-Around

2009-07-02T14:56:00.000-05:00

This morning, we trekked up to Niles for The Girl's swim lesson at the Leaning Tower YMCA. The weather was finally decent enough for us to enjoy it, so The Boy and The Tot played on the equipment in the attached playground while The Girl had her lesson. I sat on a bench in the playground area observing all of their "Mama, look at me!" moments and making a few phone calls to line up social occasions for the afternoon and next week.

When The Girl's lesson was over, we went over to Target, as has become our custom, to pick up the 3 things on my list, have a snack, and kill time. The Boy and The Girl are at a double playdate at their friends' house now, The Tot is sleeping and I'm enjoying some quiet time. Sometimes, the best part of a mother's day is the part where her kids are happily and quietly occupied.

IKEA... Again!

2009-06-30T15:36:00.001-05:00

What is with this crummy Chicago weather? Part of me is relieved not to be sweating and baking in the hot Chicago sun, but part of me is bummed that it's too damn cold/overcast to do anything fun.

Grandma Texas left this morning, so our plan for the day included a trip to Pirate's Cove, a small-time amusement park of sorts, in Elk Grove Village, which is a short drive from O'Hare. Unfortunately, after we dropped Grandma at the airport, the sky looked dark and menacing and I was freezing, so I pulled rank on the kids and headed to IKEA instead. The Boy and The Girl weren't particularly happy about this decision, but they got into Smalland today and made the best of it. The Tot and I wandered around the As-Is section and contemplated kitchen gadgets while the older two kids played in Smalland. Afterwards, we all had lunch and watched Ice Age 2 in the restaurant. And then, this time they were good and got ice cream, and froze their bums off eating it on the benches outside before hopping into the car to go home.

Mama and The Dad Do Madison

2009-06-29T22:29:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, The Dad and I had the wonderful opportunity (thanks Grandma Texas!) to get away for a weekend without The Boy, The Girl, and The Tot. The occasion was our 10th wedding anniversary, which actually falls over Father's Day each year, but I'm willing to slip the date a bit if it means a weekend with my husband without the kids. We had originally planned to celebrate the occasion in early June, with a combined business/anniversary trip to San Francisco for Java One. Unfortunately for all of us (me, The Dad, and Grandma Texas, who had already booked our flights), The Dad's company, with its acquisition by Oracle pending, canceled his trip.

So we set our sights closer to home: Madison, Wisconsin. A town (technically a small city, but after Chicago and San Francisco, it feels like a town) where neither of us had ever been, despite our combined 52 years' Illinois residency. The Dad's been to Milwaukee many times, however; the only place I'd ever really been in Wisconsin was Kenosha, just over the Illinois border.

It turns out, Madison is pretty cute. The New York Times covered Madison recently in its Travel section, although its reporter was much more interested in the varied pursuits of the town's residents. The Dad and I, on the other hand, were not that ambitious. We didn't bother with the university, Frank Lloyd Wright (although having recently read Loving Frank, I was mildly interested in checking out Taliesin -- until I found out a visit would require reservations and getting in the car), or Lake Mendota.

Our interests were much more basic: eating, drinking, walking, and light entertainment. Like the NYT reporter, we dined at both Harvest (a localvore foodie's dream) and the Old-Fashioned, the latter of which really is a microcosm of Wisconsin (The Dad got a shot of beer to go with his bloody Mary). We also ate at a less-than-stellar Ethopian restaurant on State Street (although it passed the people test with flying colors), grabbed coffee at Espresso Royale (which brought me back to my own college days, where I went to Espresso Royale in Urbana on a daily basis [except on Saturdays; then I went to Gypsy in Champaign for beer]), and shared a communal table in the crowded, but excellent (and on-par with its Yelp reviews) Sophia's Bakery Cafe. I bought myself a pile of books to read from A Room of One's Own bookstore (The Dad had a stash from home). We also saw Star Trek at a theater with horrible sound on State Street. And slept at our hotel, the Doubletree (a quick walk to both the university and the central shopping/Capitol area). And read. And walked lazily around the Capitol Square on Saturday morning, buying (and eating) loads of fresh pastry and freshly shelled peas and strawberries and maple syrup from the vendors at the Dane County Farmer's Market.

On our last day, we took the long way home - via the Elkhorn Flea Market, one of the Midwest's biggest and well-known flea and antiques markets. We got there late and weren't charged the $4 pp entrance fee. I did manage to find a sweet occasional chair for our living room, which just fit in our Toyota Corolla rental car.

Musing on Motherhood

2009-06-29T21:06:00.004-05:00

This morning, after dropping The Girl off at Kilbourn Park camp, I took The Tot and The Boy to our usual Monday morning playdate at the Disney II playground. The Boy played with his friends, and Grandma Texas and I talked with the moms. The organizer came in late, telling us that she's fed up with her children's seemingly endless bickering and ingratitude for all that she does for them. She pointed out that we do so much more to entertain our children than our mothers did when we were young.

And she's right. But how did we get from there to here? Although I don't think of myself as a constant entertainer for my children, I realized that in my own way -- taking them to the zoo, museums, farmer's markets, etc. -- I am guilty of entertaining my children, possibly of entertaining them too much. Are my friends and I raising another generation of spoiled brats? Will my children have the sense of entitlement that appears to have permeated the latter half of the Millennials?

It's an interesting question to ponder, although even pondering it feels like yet another indulgence in the parenting-as-movement culture. Between celebrity babies and contemplative articles every week in The New York Times's culture section, The Atlantic Monthly, and other such cerebral pubs, not to mention the seemingly endless number of mom-blogs, it seems that the parenting culture is steeped in itself. Were our parents so deliberate in their parenting? Did they even have a "parenting philosophy?" And if they did (which I doubt), how did they overcome the isolation of parenting in the absence of e-mail, the Internet, mobile phones, and in the presence of a still-intact standard of socialization? Barriers may have been coming down in 1970, but no one was watching Jon and Kate Gosselin's marriage unravel on national television.

In the circles I run in, it seems that modern mothers have benefitted from time, education, and wealth (which gives us time) to examine and re-examine our parenting. Are we overthinking things? Much has been made of parenting-by-instinct, but even in the days of Laura Ingalls Wilder (we have been reading The Little House in the Big Woods before bed) and her Pa, a societal order was imposed on everyday interactions. And has "conventional parenting wisdom" embedded itself so deep in our collective parenting psyche that we're unable to discern instinct from CW? And even if we were, could we withstand the mommy drive-bys that would inevitably occur? My instinct is that it's OK if I leave The Tot and The Girl in my gated backyard to play while I am working just inside, but CW (and perhaps DCFS) would disagree with me. And thus, I have became an entertainer for my children.

Note to Self: Dempster Hosed

2009-06-25T16:37:00.000-05:00

On Thursday afternoons, The Girl participates in a 3-way kid swap with two of her friends. Today was our turn to host. Before we could open our home to a gaggle of 4-year-old girls, however, we had swimming lessons for The Girl and an errand to run.

It was very important to The Girl that Grandma Texas come to watch her swimming lesson at the Leaning Tower Y in Niles. She did, and The Boy, The Tot, Grandma Texas and I watched the lesson through the glass wall between the pool and the SRO entrance lounge. The Boy and The Tot declared that they were hungry, so I spent my last $1 in cash on a bag of Cheetos from the vending machine.

After class, I got The Girl dressed and to the car, and we headed north and east to Vogue Fabrics in Evanston. The Girl was starving after her lesson and complained loudly that she needed a snack all the way down Dempster, which was completely backed up due to traffic. My snack destination of choice was Breadsmith, near Dempster and McCormick, but The Girl could not wait, so we pulled into the Starbucks drive-thru in the converted Skokie train station and ordered up 3 apple fritters (the kids), a blueberry muffin (Grandma), and a tall nonfat vanilla latte (me). After that, the traffic on Dempster wasn't quite as irritating, although we were still running up against the time contraints of both Grandma Texas's friend coming to our house in the city and the start of the girlie playdate.

I needn't have worried about Grandma Texas's friend, who came from the south suburbs, got stuck in Taste of Chicago traffic, and made every wrong choice possible in the drive up. It took her 2.5 hours to make a drive that should take about an hour.

Fortunately, we found Vogue Fabrics with only a little help from the folks at Verizon Information, parked easily just across the street, and zipped in and out of the store. If you need oilcloth for any reason, they have some great patterns at this location. I picked out a cute black and white pattern that is more grown-up than the juvenile/retro patterns I was expecting to find (and found) based on oilcloth mats available at Land of Nod, etc. We made it back to the city with time to spare.

Mobile Misses

2009-06-24T16:21:00.004-05:00

Cell phones only work if you remember to charge them. I planned my morning around an 11:30 a.m. appointment with my friend Sarah M. to return her kids' Kettler tricycle. Despite otherwise careful planning -- up at 8, The Girl's lunch made, weather checked, trike in the car and ready to go -- I failed to charge my cell phone and was unable even to text her to say we were there. She got there at 10:30, we got there at 11:00. I paged her at 11:40, but she'd already headed back to the Gold Coast.

Grandma Texas is coming today so that The Dad and I can leave The Boy, The Girl, and The Tot in her competent care while we travel to Madison, Wisconsin for the weekend. It's an ever so slightly belated celebration of our 10th wedding anniversary. I should clean my house in anticipation of her arrival, but Grandma Texas is my mother and, fortunately as such, she's taught me everything I know about housekeeping. Which is that life is too short to spend it scrubbing the floor more than once/month or so.

The Tot, The Boy and I brought The Girl to camp at Kilbourn Park, then headed south to do a little Treasure Store run. I bought 4 dresses, a Cynthia Rowley jacket, and a sweater for me, all for less than the price of one dress elsewhere (and by elsewhere, I mean Target or TJ Maxx). Given the number of trendy young women at the T.S. today, I'd say that the folks there have gotten wise to us bargain-hunters -- the prices I paid were a bit higher than usual as well.

After our failed Target meet-up, we also ran to the Carter's Outlet to pick up some short-sleeved PJs for The Tot; he's been sweating in his Hanna zippers every night. PJs were on clearance, so that was good news for me. I also checked out the new fall stuff for girls. It's very Mini Bodenesque.

Untitled Tuesday

2009-06-23T22:34:00.005-05:00

After last week's scary outing and being trapped in/near the house with the kids (two of them sick) for most of the weekend (though I did manage to plow through several tasks on my home to-do list prime doors, install new doorbell buzzer, plant impatiens, hang ferns), I decided to try to go out again today. Due to my hatred of having to pay to park, I wasted time weighing our possible options--Field/Shedd, MSI, Notebaert. Rattled by last weeks outing, I didn't yet want to return to "the scene of the crime," so Notebaert/Lincoln Park Zoo were out. Ninety-degree, humid temps made the long, sun-baked trek to Field/Shedd from Miegs Field utterly unappealing. (Although my Shedd membership is about to expire and new kid-facing exhibits [as shown by Cheryl Bardoe's photos] look appealing--must go next week.) Therefore, MSI was the clear winner: straight shot, indoors, discounted entry through reciprocity with Peggy Notebaert membership. I packed a simple lunch of PB&J sandwiches, hardboiled eggs, water in SIGG bottles, and dry cereal for crunch, and we clambered into The Great White Moose for the drive to the southside.

Before we even got to the entrance ramp to the Kennedy, The Girl asked, "When are we going to get there?" The battle cry of an impatient 4-year-old (has anyone ever met a patient 4-year-old?!?). Sadly for all of us, the Kennedy traffic sign reported 36 minutes to downtown. A stop into Vogue Fabrics on Roosevelt for oilcloth ("Sold out. Check Evanston.") added another 1/2 hour onto the trip due to my clouded understanding of city streets after 7 years of northside living. The southside of Chicago does have an east side -- and it gets larger the further south you go. So a simple drive down Canal Street became a long drive east through lots of blight before we reached Hyde Park's leafy antiques.

Parking near the museum was, as usual, easy-peasy. Why anyone spends $16 to save themselves 3 blocks and a light is beyond me. Though perhaps I should be glad everyone does and that no one reads this blog my parking secrets revealed to a mass audience and I may have to eat it at Standard Parking. Today, although spots were easy to find, we were especially lucky with street cleaning, which had already come, gone, and ticketed. At noon, the signs were already removed along 57th Street.

The Boy was happy to see the R2D2 postal box is still near the museum entrance. I was happy to see that 1 adult and 3 kids can gain entrance to the museum for under $16 with Peggy Notebaert membership. We come to MSI about 3-4 times/year; at those prices, it makes little sense to shell out $118 for a family membership. Maybe when my kids are old enough to read the museum text and be mildly interested in genomes. On the ride down, The Girl asked a lot of questions about how babies -- human and chicken -- are made and born, so our visit included a stop at the chicken hatchery on the 2nd floor. Once there, all the questions stopped; she was more interested in tapping the glass to make the fluffy chicks come to peck at her hands on the glass, which is exactly how it should be when you're four.

Our tickets purchased, and wanting to avoid a repeat performance, I laid out a few ground rules for our visit. Then we went in. Straight to the bathroom for The Boy, then the cafe for a much-needed coffee for me, and finally to a table smack in front of the Jollyball for lunch. Which The Tot, The Boy, and The Girl ate only during the machine's 60-second breaks between runs. Most of the time, they were pulled up against the railing, wathcing the giant metal pinball make its rounds through refurbished junk-heap Switzerland. Oh, and back to the bathroom for The Girl as soon as our lunch was all spread out on the table. Any tips for taking 3 kids to potty in public places? Besides, asking them to go all at the same time, which backfired this time.

After 1/2 hour at the Jollyball, The Boy was ready to go upstairs to the train hall (The Great Train Story), an exhibit that captures the rapt attention of The Tot and The Girl as well as it does The Boy.

Down again to see "the girlie show" per The Girl -- Colleen Moore's Fairy Castle. She listened intently to the full audio tour. The boys were more interested in pulling down all the audiophones and fleeing to the exit and the ancient fire engines at every opportunity (The Tot).

Finally, we spent our last 45 minutes at the Idea Factory in the basement. Mobbed with daytripping daycamper when we arrived at 2:10 p.m., the Idea Factory was closed to new guests until they left the area. They were all lining up to leave as we approached the gate, so there was room not only for us to enter, but to enjoy our time there. The Boy and The Girl were hardworking factory employees, making the balls go down the river, where The Tot retreived them and put them in the air tube to be zipped back down to the factory base with The Boy and The Girl.

We headed home about 3, giving ourselves enough time to hit the bathrooms and a rare trip to the gift shop before picking up The Boy's swimsuit at home in time for his 4 p.m. swim lesson at Independence Park. (In the end, we needn't have rushed; lessons were canceled because some kid pooped in the pool and they needed 4 hours to ensure that it was properly cleaned.) My favorite part of the trip home from MSI is the stretch of I-55 that leads to I-90/94. I drive it so rarely these days, but the memories of driving home from the Loop with my parents when I was a child are strong. After years of hearing my mother's voice telling me to take the way to Indiana, it's hard to ignore it to take the way to Wisconsin.

Fucking Fours

2009-06-17T13:13:00.003-05:00

Yes, I just used profanity on a blog that is primarily about my children. The Girl is four and she is a hellion in a dress. My mother calls her age/stage the fearsome fours, but my old neighbor, Debra, referred to them as the fucking fours. I think Debra's description is more apt for The Boy's four-year-old behavior and certainly describes The Girl's behavior of late.

We were supposed to have a nice outing with our friend Jenna and her kids, going to the Green City Market for organic goodies and then strolling down to the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum to eat our lunch and explore the museum. But, as I should know by now, things often do not go according to plan.

And today I was that mom -- the one screaming and sprinting down the sidewalk, totally out of control. I was the mom that other moms look at and sigh with relief that they are not, and their children are not mine.

I lost The Girl. Or more accurately, she ran away from me. And not just ran, she sprinted the full length of sidewalk from the south end of the Farm-in-the-Zoo to the U-shaped drive at the Cafe Brauer. The Tot and The Boy were walking, so we were paced much slower than she was. As I came around the curve along the farm fence with the boys, I called to her to stop. She turned, looked at me, and then ran along.

By the time I came to that curve, I could no longer see her -- the path was crowded with kids-on-strings, strollers, and other groups coming south along the east side of Stockton Drive. I sent The Boy to run up to her, but when I came to the entrance of the Zoo farm and still saw him running, I really began to worry. By then, I had The Tot in the stroller and sprinted down the sidewalk. A man with a kids-on-string group asked me if the boy in the red jacket was mine. I said yes, but I was more concerned about the girl in the green sweatshirt. He dropped his backpack and sprinted north. He was running, I was running, The Boy was running, I was doing the mom-panic shriek and I could hear moms pushing strollers in the opposite direction ask what was wrong as I ran past them.

Finally, The Girl had stopped near the entrance to Cafe Brauer. I grabbed her, and yes, dear readers, I spanked her.* Then I took her wrist and we rejoined Jenna & her kids. We said sorry and good-bye, and The Girl screamed all the way back to the car: she could not walk, her feet hurt, she was tired, etc. Later, when we were sitting in traffic on Fullerton, I explained why I was upset with her, to which she replied that she "couldn't hear" me and she just wanted to go to the nature museum.

* Despite using it twice in the past 7 days, I don't consider spanking to be part of my parenting toolkit. Given how often we go on outings, I didn't think it was necessary to remind The Girl to stay close to me. Clearly, I was wrong about that. What corrective action would you have taken if your child ran 2 blocks away from you?

Brookfield Zoo

2009-06-16T23:24:00.003-05:00

Despite the weather forecast, The Tot, The Boy, The Girl and I went forward with our plan to meet our friends at Brookfield Zoo this morning. I pulled into the parking lot right as the downpour began.

Lazy Summer Day

2009-06-15T22:32:00.001-05:00

Today marked the first real day of summer vacation. Thankfully, it was also a warm, sunny day so we could enjoy it.

We started the day by going to Disney II playground for a rising-1st-grader playdate. The Boy protested; he wanted to have a "regular summer day." Um, what? But The Girl really wanted to see her friends and I wanted to see mine, so we went to the park. The Boy spent the first 20 minutes yanking on the door handle of the car and crying, but eventually rallied to play with his friends and former-recent classmates.

We went home for lunch and lots of playing in the backyard. Our neighbor came by about 1/2 an hour before her nap and asked The Boy and The Girl to ride bikes in the front sidewalk while her babysitter watched. So they did that and I put The Tot down for a nap. When he woke up, we went to Baskin-Robbins (The Girl calls it "Justin Roberts") for ice creams. The Tot was quite possessive of his lopsided mint-chip cone, and refused to let me lick it evenly -- and the whole scoop toppled. Fortunately for me, he didn't seem to notice and was happy to crunch his remaining sugar cone. As seems to always be the case in this particular BR-DD, there were 2 police officers talking to a senior citizen at a nearby table and they seemed to find The Tot's incident amusing.

We ran to Target afterward, and I seem to be learning something after 6 years of parenting because it was a short trip for the 3 things on our list and little browsing as the kids were all pretty wired from the ice cream. When we got home, The Dad took everyone outside to play with the neighbors, ride bikes and play in the backyard. A very nice summer day.